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Either-or thinking vs both-and thinking

Thursday, August 09, 2018

So, I started attending a DBT group last week, and was considering not going yesterday as I felt so yucky sick, but I was convinced to go by various people (and my own conscience), and it was worth it, even if I looked and sounded like death warmed over. We were still going through the introduction, but all the information is interesting (though not all that revolutionary to me, it sounds a lot like what my mom espoused). Basically, yesterday we were addressing all-or-nothing thinking, and how to replace it with both-and concepts... and how even with diametrically opposed opinions there are kernels of truth to each side. How righteous indignation is a signal that I am not practicing mindfulness or both-and thinking, but rather indulging in emotionally directed perfectionism... which, in the end, no one can actually live up to! Not to say that some situations don’t initially call for righteous indignation, but once the initial reaction passes, I need to examine the situation from a more globally-minded perspective and see that even if I vehemently disagree with someone, perhaps I can agree with their motives or rationale. In a rather simple example... there is the carb/low carb dichotomy here on SparkPeople. There is a whole section of people here who follow either low carb (think Atkins or South Beach) or the even more strict keto diet concepts... yet pretty much all the dietary information and articles on the site call for moderation, including in carbohydrate consumption... rather than restricting them. So which side is correct? Sorry, I cannot tell you. I don’t know. I know that I have to keep my carbs in check for blood glucose reasons as a reactive hypoglycemic... but I can see the merits of both sides. There’s new research coming out on a weekly (daily?) basis looking at the different effects, but I don’t know... I doubt it is an either-or situation, and perfectionist thinking tends to make me a bit neurotic whichever side of the argument I am reading. It is more likely a both-and situation with some people benefiting from one way of eating, and other people from the other way... the nice thing about SparkPeople is that very few people are nasty about any of this... which is quite novel in my opinion experience! Well done spark friends! Anyways, we are moving into a specific module starting next week, which should also be interesting. In the meantime, yes, I am still sick, but the Cooper-dog is on the job snuggling and cuddling (though he hates when I cough, it really upsets him!) and generally looking after me. He is still the “sadistic puppy” in the mornings though, insisting on 3 miles of walk each morning to start the day. (I thought I was going to pass out yesterday morning!). I am drinking between 130-150 oz of water, plus 2 bottles of Gatorade, and at least 2 cups of hot tea each day... and the doctor still says I am dehydrated and need to increase my fluids! Ummm... I don’t see how I can!? Good grief! I guess I need to apply some DBT skills here and try and see the other side...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hope you feel better soon and that you get results from these meetings.
    123 days ago
    I hope you start feeling better soon.
    125 days ago
    Hydration has been an issue this summer even with 100 oz consumed.
    What is DBT?
    125 days ago
  • KATIE5668
    HINT,,try Pedialyte..instead of Gatorade. It is easier on the system, more quickly absorbed and flat better for you. Gatorade was designed for athletes that really get out there and need to restore their electrolytes, plus a sugar laden kick to keep them going.
    Your group sounds interesting..thanks for all the info.
    My doc told me NO Keto..but I know some folks do ok on it. Seriously challenges the kidneys is what she said..
    Basic balanced diet ..exercise and work towards fitness...the weight will come off ..thas what she said!
    Hope you feel better quickly!
    125 days ago
    I may not understand the new (or old) trends in dieting & healthy living, but, as long as it does no severe harm, I believe in letting people try it. I mean, if they don’t want to suck my blood, or harm others, OK.
    125 days ago
    I had to look up DBT. I'll be interested to see how that works and if you find it helpful.
    125 days ago
    Wow! That sounds like me trying to hydrate in Colorado. I just couldn't get hydrated, no matter how many liters of water I drank each day. So frustrating. Have to plan it out better for next year, because dehydration feels awful.

    Love your info about cognitive therapy, which I am also starting up again.
    125 days ago
    Hope you feel better!
    125 days ago
    DBT is interesting. Sure did help me back in the early 2000s. I benefited and lol others do now around me. Hehehe they're grateful and I'm not in jail!!

    Hopefully soon you'll feel better emoticon
    125 days ago
    Ok, while I am on Cooper dog's side, do not walk 3 miles if you think you are going to pass out. Now that would really upset both you and him.

    emoticon emoticon
    126 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    Glad you went and got some other perspective on the way of thinking. Taking all or nothing mindset generally doesn't work for me. I take all ideas (diet plans and such) and take the elements that will fit my lifestyle and goals. I learn from each and everyone, the pitfalls, and the also the benefits. I don't think that there is one miracle diet (I call it lifestyle) for anyone, as each and everyone of us is unique and so is our bodies.

    I have learned to tell the signals from my own body as to what will help it or do it harm and try to act accordingly.

    Very interesting discussion I must say.
    126 days ago
  • MBPP50
    Thanks for sharing what you learned- definitely interesting! Sorry you’re still sick. emoticon emoticon
    126 days ago
    One of the advantages of following the old American Diabetic Association's exchange plan (used by WW for 20 years) is that all the other stuff is taken care of. As soon as I try to overthink anything, I'm doomed. But we are all so different, so whatever works for each person is best.
    126 days ago
  • COOKIE_AT_51
    Glad you made the effort to make your meeting and also getting in a pup walk even though feeling like ... sounds like an interesting topic. I try to explain that same concept to my hubby, he is an all or nothing - black or white kind of guy.

    I know my pups want the same thing today emoticon emoticon

    Your step count is amazing!! emoticon

    Hope you are feeling better soon,

    Cookie emoticon

    126 days ago
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