Either-or thinking vs both-and thinking
Thursday, August 09, 2018
So, I started attending a DBT group last week, and was considering not going yesterday as I felt so yucky sick, but I was convinced to go by various people (and my own conscience), and it was worth it, even if I looked and sounded like death warmed over. We were still going through the introduction, but all the information is interesting (though not all that revolutionary to me, it sounds a lot like what my mom espoused). Basically, yesterday we were addressing all-or-nothing thinking, and how to replace it with both-and concepts... and how even with diametrically opposed opinions there are kernels of truth to each side. How righteous indignation is a signal that I am not practicing mindfulness or both-and thinking, but rather indulging in emotionally directed perfectionism... which, in the end, no one can actually live up to! Not to say that some situations don’t initially call for righteous indignation, but once the initial reaction passes, I need to examine the situation from a more globally-minded perspective and see that even if I vehemently disagree with someone, perhaps I can agree with their motives or rationale.
In a rather simple example... there is the carb/low carb dichotomy here on SparkPeople. There is a whole section of people here who follow either low carb (think Atkins or South Beach) or the even more strict keto diet concepts... yet pretty much all the dietary information and articles on the site call for moderation, including in carbohydrate consumption... rather than restricting them. So which side is correct? Sorry, I cannot tell you. I don’t know. I know that I have to keep my carbs in check for blood glucose reasons as a reactive hypoglycemic... but I can see the merits of both sides. There’s new research coming out on a weekly (daily?) basis looking at the different effects, but I don’t know... I doubt it is an either-or situation, and perfectionist thinking tends to make me a bit neurotic whichever side of the argument I am reading. It is more likely a both-and situation with some people benefiting from one way of eating, and other people from the other way... the nice thing about SparkPeople is that very few people are nasty about any of this... which is quite novel in my opinion experience! Well done spark friends!
Anyways, we are moving into a specific module starting next week, which should also be interesting.
In the meantime, yes, I am still sick, but the Cooper-dog is on the job snuggling and cuddling (though he hates when I cough, it really upsets him!) and generally looking after me. He is still the “sadistic puppy” in the mornings though, insisting on 3 miles of walk each morning to start the day. (I thought I was going to pass out yesterday morning!). I am drinking between 130-150 oz of water, plus 2 bottles of Gatorade, and at least 2 cups of hot tea each day... and the doctor still says I am dehydrated and need to increase my fluids! Ummm... I don’t see how I can!? Good grief! I guess I need to apply some DBT skills here and try and see the other side...