250-499 SparkPoints 264

Oral fixation is...the devil.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Hey y'all!

I've been doing alright on my journey - just alright, though. I want to be doing stellar and shining like a star! I haven't moved much in weight and that's really the main goal. Yes, to keep my cholesterol in check, yes to gaining strength and muscle definition and yes to keep my skin clear, but I REALLY have to fit into this size 10 dress for my friend's wedding lol. Actually, can I be honest? I kinda resent this particular section of my journey ONLY because I've never been someone motivated by looks, even when I lost weight my first go 'round a few years ago. I think because it's to fit into a dress, I don't feel that motivated. Trying to center my mind away from that, though, because the overall benefits are still present and I want to appreciate and work toward those health goals, too. Just giving you a dip into my psyche lol.

Anyway! Maintaining isn't so bad, that's a sign to me that I have somewhat of a consistent lifestyle and it helps shine a light on what habit(s) I would need to change in order to get where I want to be. I've noticed that it's the late night cravings that get me, so I've been taking melatonin after my evening walk so that once I'm out of the shower, I basically only have enough time to go to sleep right after LOL. It's a little much, but while I'm working on creating a routine for my body to remember, it works for me. Plus, my sleep could really improve and melatonin has helped me wonderfully get those (close to) 8 hours I so desperately need. Another thing I have is an ORAL FIXATION. Dieters know how horrible this bad habit is lol it can singlehandedly kill a good day of eating. To combat this, I'm tapping more into having healthy, fun snacks like fresh cherries around so that if I really have to eat something, at least it's nutritious and natural - even if it goes a *little* over my daily calories. I've also been enlisting the help of warm drinks like tea to fill me up just to get me through one more hour without feeling like I'm starving. Because I'm definitely NOT hungry! My diet is very well rounded; my brain just feels like it needs to tell my body to be doing something and my body's instinct is to eat. Working on reprogramming away from that as we speak. Give me three weeks - I'll have it down. 😎 For right now, I'm keeping myself on a "feeding" schedule πŸ˜‚which is about 4 meals a day, including one snack. Two snacks if it gets dire lol. I just really need routine personally, I don't recommend restrictive methods like this but it will help me get into a rhythm. So far, so good!

Another habit I've identified is I haven't been super strict about staying within my calories. I do my best (well, no, it hasn't been my best and I'll be honest there) to stay under 1500 but I let myself toggle around 1600-1700. My justification is always something along the lines of "well it's close, and it's certainly better than what I usually would do!" And while this is factually true, it's not going to bring me to the point I want to be at when I need to be at it. Mindset is such a big chunk of this journey and reliving it as if I've never done it before is a stark reminder of that.

Related: Drinking alcohol is MY personal diet killer. I don't know how to socialize in NYC without it - how pathetic! NOT because EYE can't, but because so many events are literally centered around it. If you live here you know what I mean; you'd be hard-pressed to find a function around here that isn't giving away the drinks for free or serving them at all. I know, I know. Choices, choices. I will work diligently on making better ones in that regard. My bestie suggested putting some form of a limit, whether it be amount of days a week I'm allowed (we settled on 2 as reasonable) or amount of drinks I'm allowed per week. I actually think drinks per week makes more sense because a day's worth of drinking could very well turn into the allotment of drinks for the week...again, it's NYC AND I'm 26! lol. I have to treat me like I know me. I have two friends visiting from out of town between this weekend and next month, so I need to have a plan of attack in place for both food and drink. Realistically, I won't be perfect but life still can go on while I have goals and they don't have to completely go in the toilet just because of friends visiting. One of those friends is my aforementioned bestie, and she's getting married (she's January, thank goodness LOL) so we're on the same page as far as keeping each other in check and on track so hopefully we won't derail too too bad. We both love food but we're each other's main motivators as well! When we both tap into that energy, we're seriously unstoppable.

As mentioned last time, I've been eating a lot less meat, which I'm surprised to be enjoying. Not for any moral reasons, but I'm working on cutting down on the amount of hormones I take in, animal fats and it helps cut calories (not the main reason by any means!) This is directly related to my PCOS RE: the hormones. I'm pretty happy with the results, no drastic body changes but I do feel better. I went pescatarian for about three weeks to see how I liked it and decided to lean more toward vegetarian with the occasional meat. I never thought I'd be someone who is like this but here I am! Lol it's really not so bad, there are tons of vegetarian foods that are packed with flavor and I'm here for them all.

Welp, I've been fighting my current oral fixation is logging on here and telling y'all what I'm going through as I press on. My hands are busy and I feel better knowing I just killed some time and also had some introspection. Cool stuff :) It's also a beautiful day so once the sun goes down a little, I'll take myself for a walk to kill some more time before dinner. Hope you guys have an awesome week and I promise I'll come back with a motivating progress report next time I write! πŸ˜‰
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