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jokes and Amish Vacation

Monday, July 23, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
Write about one of your favorite summertime activities and/or vacation.
My summer favorite vacation is Amish Country Ohio. We usually
take the long way down. Through the small beautiful small towns of
Ohio. Then we usually go to Winery. Yes, Amish country have some of
the best Winery. After the Winery we usually go to eat lunch at Wall house coffee . A coffee place with some great hot drink , great sandwiches and
soups. After lunch we shopped at one of the great cheese house to
buy cheese and eat sample. Also I usually pick up some old fashion pop
but not too many to ruin my diet. Then we go to the hotel and find out
the pool and exercise room time. We always exercise on vacation,
Then we sit down to a Amish dinner but I make sure I watch my diet.
Then we go to the pool and do our water exercises. The next day we
get up and go swimming. Then we have a nice healthy breakfast.
We then go shopping for desserts for mom. Also we go to a flee market
to buy gadgets and knickknacks. , Then we have a Amish dinner and go
home. I hope this wasn't too boring.

jokes
I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

“Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code”

“I always give 100% at work:13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday”


Funny(Real) 911 Calls
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HAPPYDAZ1
    Have fun. I've never been but this is something I keep telling myself I want to do. Some day.
    23 days ago
  • DMILLER33
    I have a few of my favorite stops in Ohio Amish country too. Love their cheese. We have a lot that live around us here too. Even have a bakery a few miles from us that I try to avoid because it is hard to resist.
    25 days ago
  • CATHYSFITLIFE
    Amish Country Ohio sounds like a great place to go for vacation. I've never been to Amish Country in any state. I know they have one in Missouri but it was a long distance from where we lived. I didn't know Amish made wine.
    25 days ago
  • INGMARIE
    emoticon FUNNY loved it.
    And the Amish country ,I really love to visit.
    Have a great day emoticon
    25 days ago
  • VFAITHFUL1
    Lol
    26 days ago
  • MAIZIEPAIGE
    That sounds like a wonderful vacation. We go to Amish Country in Arthur, Illinois, and enjoy a delicious meal each time. It's only about 1 1/2 hours from us, so we go often for their cheese, popcorn, and delicious baked goods. You're so fortunate to be able to have several meals and enjoy the pool and shopping. I'm surprised to hear they have a winery.
    26 days ago
  • AMYBELLES
    I have not been to Amish Country in Ohio, but have been to Amish Country in PA many times. I love the beautiful farmland, antique stores, and the food is delicious! I have never been to any winery there though.
    26 days ago
  • MELAMA210
    I love Amish Country! The milk from my husbands farm goes to Guggisburg Cheese to make swiss cheese in Walnut Creek. I havent been down there in a few years but its so nice in that whole area. Glad you had a good time!
    26 days ago
  • CATLOVER110
    The Amish country sounds great! I didn't know they made wine.
    26 days ago
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