JSTETSER
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Not Everyone will Celebrate Your Success!

Saturday, July 14, 2018



Yesterday I talked with a person who was very terse with me for no reason. She had no patience for me at all. I couldn't figure out why she would treat me this way. I had done nothing to offend her, and our relationship had been friendly in the past.
I'm not sure, but I have a theory on why her attitude might have changed. For two year, she worked hard losing weight. I celebrated her victories with her, and we encouraged each other. My friend lost over 100 pounds, and slowly gained most of it back. It may be that my presence reminds her of her own off-track goals for a healthy lifestyle.

It is important to take note of my friends & family who don't clap when I win. Some people will envy my determination, not knowing why I "so lucky". Ultimately, encouragement has to come from the inside! I have learned to encourage myself and find SparkFriends who encourage, counsel and pick me up when I'm down. Spark People and many friends are thrilled with my success, knowing that if I can do it, anyone can.

I may never know what is going on. I keep a positive attitude towards my one-time friend. If I have an opportunity, I will ask her if I have done anything to offend her. What would you do?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JAZZEJR
    Well, since you quoted Oprah... she had a conversation with Michael Singer, "The Untethered Soul," on Super Soul Sunday today. He says to just relax and let "YOU" go... all the need to please, to know what you may have done to offend her is just your ego. Let it all go and it will correct itself.... just as the body pushes a splinter out. He says you will experience a deep, sustaining peace undergirded by God himself. If you can catch this episode, it will be really worth it. :)
    148 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    Maybe she was just having a bad day / week / month. If she continues, I be apt to ask her why?
    149 days ago
  • IDICEM
    Don't let her attitude influence you. Be positive. You already have that under control.
    149 days ago
  • DOVESEYES
    We all have 'stuff' ... :) you may never know why ... love your attitude to let it go
    149 days ago
  • ROCKYCPA
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    149 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    I would not take this too seriously. It's sometimes hard to know why someone is not in a good mood. Maybe she is having an off day that has nothing to do with you or dieting. I have had friends who were having a great day and were elated and wishing me a fantastic day. They didn't read my blog so they didn't know that my pet had died that day. They would have never intentionally hurt me. It's one reason that I try to always read my friend's statuses before commenting or look at their goodies. If you see sympathy goodies that is a bad sign.
    149 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    Have to say that I am with WATERMELLEN on this one … One of those "let it go" situations?
    149 days ago
  • RKOTTEK
    it would be so easy to bring her down
    you are far too nice to descend to her level
    i am immensely proud of your progress
    emoticon for being so consistent and determined
    cheers richard
    emoticon
    149 days ago
  • ANHELIC
    emoticon I love listening to Joel Osteen in the car on my radio. He is such a powerful preacher on being positive and realizing what you do, you do unto God and not to please your friends and family. emoticon
    149 days ago
  • CHRISTINEBWD
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    149 days ago
  • ARTJAC
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    149 days ago
  • RAMONA1954
    I think you're correct. Maybe give your friend some time and meet with her to chat. Maybe then, you'll find answers
    149 days ago
  • BECCABOO127
    You can never know what is going on with someone. I'd just give her some space right now, and then check in later with her.

    emoticon
    149 days ago
  • GRAMMYEAC
    I think your analysis of the situation is very accurate. It is so hard not to compare yourself to others, and when attaining those mutual goals starts to diverge, the comparisons often don't feel so good... As long as neither side of the relationship turns spiteful and mean-spirited, it's certainly worth continuing the friendship and seeing how you both can make it work.

    Continue being the sharing, caring, helpful person you are...
    149 days ago
  • CHERRIET
    So true. emoticon
    149 days ago
  • MNABOY
    THINK POSITIVE BECAUSE THE OTHER OPTION IS NOT GOOD.
    149 days ago
  • LIS193
    She may be struggling and find it hard to get beyond her disappointment in herself to be able to celebrate something she feels she should be achieving as well. Most likely it has nothing to do with you personally apart from the fact that (in her mind) your achievements highlight her struggles.
    emoticon
    150 days ago
  • LIVINHEALTHY9
    It's too bad your friend treated you that way.
    It may be an envious thing, or it could be something totally unrelated to that. She may have some other difficulty going on in her life that she didn't share.

    Just continue being positive and try not to let the negative influences get to you.

    Have a great day!
    150 days ago
  • SUNNYBEACHGIRL
    Sometimes it is not you it is them
    150 days ago
  • PATRICIA-CR
    It no longer worries me when this kind of behavior, family or not, comes from people I know are problematic. I care when it's people I do care for and expect different from them.

    You are emoticon emoticon
    150 days ago
  • JACKIEWALKS4FUN
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    150 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    It would be nice to have her "approval" but: you don't need it. You have your OWN approval (and the approval of so many people here . . . very clearly).

    One of those "let it go" situations?
    150 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    Yes most people do not feel happy when you do well had that with my husband who did not like it if anyone praised me its just envy & take note who is gracious enough to praise you
    150 days ago
  • AUNTRENEE
    I think that she was just jealous of what you're doing. She'll come around and realize that she was getting all the good things in being healthy before the weight gain.

    You are such a good friend no matter what. On here and in real life.
    150 days ago
  • 1DAY-ATA-TIME
    It's difficult to know what's behind someone's behavior without meaningful dialogue and active listening. You might be right, she may be disappointed at herself for gaining the weight back and has projected those feelings toward you. You're on the right track, if she is a friend (or one-time friend), talk and listen to her and try to find out what's going on. It may be best to consider that it's not about you, but about her disappointment with herself. I wish you the best.
    150 days ago
  • BILLTHOMSON
    What I do is just keep trudging that road to happy destiny
    150 days ago
  • MARTHA324
    You are likely right in that she is jealous that you have been able to do what she didn't do. You might want to ask her if anything is wrong. Always possible that it wasn't you that made her be terse and something else entirely.
    150 days ago
  • CONTROUBLE
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    150 days ago
  • GODS-PRINCESS
    I don't know your co-worker. I have never been lucky to have support from flesh friends like you. My mind is bouncing between jealous and maybe there is something going on with her that you are not aware of. I learned that long ago in college when I thought my room mate hated me and I couldn't figure out what I did. I went to the RA in tears and she told me it was not me that something was going on with her personally. The RA had encouraged her over and over to tell me and for some reason my roommate wouldn't or couldn't. To this day I don't know what her issue was but I learned that when someone acts a certain way, it does not always mean they hate you or they are jealous. We as humans tend to think it's all about us. In reality we really don't know. It could be she isn't even aware she is treating you like she is.
    150 days ago
  • NEW-CAZ
    I'd ask her what's up........could be she's just had a bad day and you were the first one to hand to lash out to.
    If you've been pals for a while now it would be a shame to leave things as they stand without at least trying to sort it out,
    Good luck. emoticon
    150 days ago
  • SWALLIS7
    We all fight our own battles but our job in life is to be kind and encourage others. Be proud of your success and be kind to those who are still struggling because one day that kindness may be just what that other person needs for encouragement!
    150 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Oh Jackie, you nailed. I believe this woman is jealous of the results of your hard, and continued, work. And you're right, too, we have to be our own cheerleaders. Always. And it's surprising to me to find out along the way of this journey that those whom I really expected to be my staunchest supporters . . .were and are not. So be it. I AM my staunchest support and, like you, my aha moment to all this was being diagnosed with diabetes. I HAVE to do my best, no matter what anyone else thinks!

    You're wise to keep a positive attitude towards your one-time friend. I suppose you could ask her if you've done anything to offend her, but my hunch is she's not going to have an answer for you. Maybe the way I'd go about it myself is must phrase it in a way that doesn't really ask the question, but let's her know you're sorry if you have offended her. I find it works for me, generally, in situations like this to say, "I am sorry if I've done anything to offend you. If I did, it was not intentional." and not even leave the onus on her to explain. Just a thought.
    150 days ago
  • MARYJOANNA
    I think jealousy reared its ugly head.
    150 days ago
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