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I want to go home. I may not be able to.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Yesterday I talked to the ombudsman for seniors in this county. He said that given the horrible housing market in this area (San Francisco Bay Area), particularly for low-income seniors, I may not be able to find an apartment I can afford. Apparently, having been in here may have also taken me off the waiting list for Section 8, since they would deem me as "housed." There's also the issue of how much mobility I can regain, and how much help I would need.

I realize that many are in much worse situations (so no sermons, please). I know I have a roof, food and medical care. But I'm also stuck with someone else's schedule, someone else's idea of what good food is, and the whims of whatever roommate I have. The one I have right now is good, but she's going home Tuesday. The last one was in here for four months and nearly drove me to jump off a cliff.

I'm also as depressed and angry as all get-out about situations in the world and this country. I sign petitions, send emails and make phone calls, but I suspect those things aren't all that useful. I want to be out, joining in marches and manning voter registration tables. At least that would accomplish something concrete.

I feel lost. I feel like I'm disappearing.
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