CANDOK1260
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jokes and review of June goals and July goals

Monday, July 09, 2018

jokes and review of June goals and July goals
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
June goal

1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS - I blew this
R-REFINED SUGAR - did good on this
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR - working on this
P- PROCESED FOODS-

2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day-and at least one being a veggie - doing pretty good on this
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND- still working on this
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS- did good on this
D-DRINK WATER - need to drink more water
3. . focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team - did this
4. . focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS blc35 team did this
5. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going on 396 day
6. lose weight I now weight 171.0 I gain a pound
7.no eating in the middle of the night- been getting up with mom for bathroom in the middle of the night and then eating doing so with this
8. start tracking my fitness minutes- doing great on this

June goal

1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS -
R-REFINED SUGAR -
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR -
P- PROCESED FOODS-

2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day-and at least one being a veggie
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND-
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS-
D-DRINK WATER -
3. . focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team
4. . focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS blc35 team
5. .focus on my walking team

6. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going
7. lose weight I now weight 171.0-
8.no eating in the middle of the night- been getting up with mom for bathroom in the middle of the night and then eating
9. start tracking my fitness minutes

Jokes
Man in Gym
An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby".
Big Trouble
There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them.
Hearing about a pastor nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the pastor to talk with the boys and he agreed.
The mother went to the pastor and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent the younger boy to the pastor.
The pastor sat the boy down across his HUGE, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the pastor pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Young man, where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing. Again, louder, the pastor pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"
Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the pastor leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Young man, I ask you, where is God?"
The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We're in Bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble."
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, 'BIG trouble?'";
His brother replied, "I'm telling' ya', we're in BIG trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!"

Two priests die at the same time and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "I'd like to get you guys in now but our computers are down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will you be keeping track of us, St. Peter ?"
"No, I told you the computer is down. There's no way we can keep track of what you are doing. This week's a freebie."
"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have trouble locating them?" He asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rocky Mountains, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" asks the Lord.
"Because he's on a snow tire somewhere in Alaska."

Last Rites
A man lay dying and he began to yell out, "I need a priest, I need a priest!"
Another man came along and asked what was wrong.
The dying man said, "I need a priest to give me last rites, I'm dying," the man said.
"There are no priests around here, but maybe I can help." I'm not a religious person myself, but I have lived next to the Catholic Church my whole life and I hear their ritual all the time. I think that I can say it for you."
The dying man said, "Thank You."
So the helpful man leaned close to the dying man and in a soft voice repeated the ritual as he has heard it so many times:
"B-6, N-33, G-52, I-24, ... Bingo.โ€
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