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What's your TAKE?

Sunday, July 01, 2018



From the get go of our lives- we are taught to stand up for ourselves, do what we believe in, find our passions, & find our identities….

What ever happened to the idea of helping others, and to be less centered around “ourselves?”

With this being said I am going to bring up a VERY TOUCHY subject-

So- I understand the teachings of being true to who you are. Not being afraid to show our emotions, love, taking pride in and standing up for what we believe in…

I also believe being at a young age, a child can be SO confused. Especially in this day and age with all this information bouncing around from the internet, television, what is taught in the classroom, heard about from peers & older aged kids and what’s seen out in public etc. There are so many illusions and ways a young child can be led astray. Lifestyles that may seem so exciting and there are certainly children who like to be different, who want to be heard and who need to feel loved.

With this being said, I am apprehensive about expressing my point of view here. But here we go…

I believe we as a people are too focused on ourselves and fulfilling our OWN needs. It’s posing a problem with our neighbors and children. Let me put the focus on the children..

Children see a lot of self-expression from others. Whether it be from their Rock Star Idols, Artists, Authors, Sports Heroes, Television Stars, teachers, or anyone who shows and presents themselves with confidence and unrelenting strength as a matter of fact. It must make it difficult to not follow their way of thinking or idolize their “heroes” in all ways they (the child) possibly can… With that being said…

Let me set an example here before I express my opinion: Here is Jane. Jane is around 7 or 8 years old… She lives with her Mother and her mother’s girlfriend. Jane’s mother kicked Jane’s Father out when Jane was 5. Jane’s Father was an alcoholic and drug addict. Jane’s mother and Jane’s father would fight constantly. Sometimes he would even go a little overboard and push Jane’s mother.. This type of living must have been very difficult for Jane to process, as when she was 4 yrs. and in preschool- her little friends parents didn’t act like her parents did…. EVER…

Jane’s mother now has a Girlfriend who is very friendly and loving to Jane and her mother. This is such a nice feeling for Jane, as she didn’t experience this type of atmosphere when she was growing up with her Father who seldom sees her now, and it doesn’t really matter anyway that he doesn’t see her because she is scared of him. So Jane Loves her new life and her Mother’s new life partner.

Let me put a pause on this story- as I think this happens a lot in “real life” and holds influence.

I think these poor Children are bombarded with SO much- that they cannot PROCESS all of what they see, think, read, hear, and feel… And they cannot process it in a neutral way either… There is always SOME sort of influence that is included in their processing of emotions….. Whether it be from their earlier on life experiences, Parental point of view, People they look up to, teachers- coaches- pastors, doctors, …. whomever, the list is endless… ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ( the Children) ARE SO INVOLVED IN THEIR ELECTRONICS AND DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND THEM (the Children).

So with THIS being said…. I realize some kids feel attraction or attracted to the same sex… As I do not feel this is out of the ordinary, but should the child should question their sexuality? Some people are very and can we even go to the length to say EXTREMELY pleasing to the eye. So could I be safe to say this feeling of attraction to the same sex is normal? Therefore this leads to the next question… If this question of their sexuality is being dragged about in the child’s head, depending on many factors which may include: Upbringing & influence, there are numerous factors that can interfere in this fragile time ((during the beginning stages of the questioning of sexuality)) in a young child’s life…

Then the next step in the process would be this is a Choice….

Either I ((the child)) act out on this attraction to the same sex or I don’t and let it ride…

Acting out their decision… You might as well say the child then does not have a choice anymore…. Just like with Illegal Drugs… It does not become a choice, it becomes your life.

In Katy Perry’s song:::: I Kissed a Girl ::::::: It didn’t state whether the girl became bi- or stayed straight- but she did like the action of kissing the girl.. She enjoyed it, it confused her while she felt brave and felt so right… Not a good combination of feelings I believe any girl who struggles with her image, self-esteem issues would like to feel brave and maybe even like she was doing something right…. Am I right or wrong here???

I also think kids are PUSHED into thinking they may be gay or bi-sexual. I think we, as teachers, parents, guardians, coaches, guidance counselors- etc… need to really be honest here and come up with a new way to confront or talk to the child. Maybe use different wording… Or a new way of reaction to the statement, “I think I may be _______.” Maybe instead of plainly accepting this STATEMENT from the child… We can CHALLENGE them. We can exclaim: Well how do you KNOW for sure??? Then their answer and past experiences should help out with their “CHOICE.”

I mean YES…. I agree it’s SO OKAY to be gay or bisexual… I accept it and still love you as a neighbor… you are who you are and believe in what you believe in…

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPICY23
    Hmmm.... some interesting ideas here. I thought it was going to be about self-absorption to begin with then saw it was going a different direction entirely.

    My only concern with 'challenging' someone who is essentially 'coming out' to you is they may take that as a rejection of themselves and their sexual identity. It may have gotten easier to declare one's sexual orientation but I'm guessing it still takes a fair bit of courage and risk, not something one does if they are 'uncertain'. Maybe find a gentler approach to asking your questions about past history.

    Peace and Care
    746 days ago
    Yes I believe children are exposed to sensitive ideas in the media and public long before they have enough of an education to understand the nature of it all. It is difficult but necessary to explain to your children that the only way to a successful and happy life is to recognized that they are truly a work of wonder and can live a good life only if they learn to question the ideas of others, especially of anyone that seeks to persuade them that they are not worthy or are different in one way or another from others in a bad way. Every child should feel accepted by others, no matter where their soul leads them. I agree with 1CRAZYDOG's statement that we as parents need to make it safe for our children to ask us the the tough questions, bounce off their thoughts and get guidance and acceptance for their feelings. I also agree with your take that parents should challenge any child that suggests that they may be gay with the question "Are you sure?" but to also urge them to not act upon their feelings or engage in sex until they are much older. My feeling is that had I acted upon my immatured feelings sexually in my early years, I may have never gotten over my feelings that I was gay.
    The only change in your take is the part where you say "I mean YES…. I agree it’s SO OKAY to be gay or bisexual… I accept it and still love you as a neighbor… you are who you are and believe in what you believe in…" Where you say " a neighbor", I would say "my child" or "an equal human being".

    1119 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/2/2018 6:25:14 AM
    Yes, things were different one talked about it or didn't understand those things, but as time as gone by, it's easier to talk about, and acceptance is first & foremost...My niece has a female partner../I love them both, and respect them...I've known a lot of people with same sex relationships...we are able to talk about it openly, honestly, and have become very grteast I am thankful, I can care about someone, respect them,for whom they are, not what others think or feel.

    Thanks so much for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1119 days ago
    It is definitely a day and time that is different from when I grew up -- born in the 50's. That said, I have had friends who have different sexual orientations than I, but they are PEOPLE first. THAT said, I think we do need to have conversations w/our children about this type of thing. We need to make it safe for our children to ask us the tough questions, bounce off their ideas, get guidance.

    Bottom line for me is this. god has created us all w/a purpose in mind. It's our job to guide our kids to become what they're meant to become. No matter what, He loves us all.
    1119 days ago
    My grandson is gay he is 21 came out last year.
    He was worried about my reaction dominic I still love you no matter what your life style
    1119 days ago
  • LPORTER2015
    We as parents are forced to have these discussions with our children at such early ages because society says it's okay and it's everywhere (TV, movies, music, school, church). We should not be forced to deal with other people's beliefs or lifestyles.
    1119 days ago
  • LPORTER2015
    Very interesting blog! I'm going to be honest, when I was a child I do not remember dealing with gay and lesbian conversations until my late teenage years. It was not as open and accepted by society as it is now. I wish time could go back!
    1119 days ago
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