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Where am I?

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Hey there, Sparkfriends.

I'm still reading when I can. I'm still trying to live a healthy lifestyle and trying to remember that I Matter! That last one should have come first.

As I've begun physical therapy, and been mildly chastised (but I could tell they wanted to bean me on the head) by both the therapist and the assistant for not taking enough moments for myself...I realize that I've let myself matter less and less. But in weird ways.

So, I'm resuming my push to implement the things I KNOW are the right things to do, but consistently fail to do them.

That weight I'd taken off? Nearly all back on.

WW wasn't right for me as a vegetarian. But it doesn't mean I should have just thrown in the towel completely. Silly of me. And I MEAN to eat right every night, but then I don't.

Even last night...I sat there telling myself I wasn't going to go get a cookie from the treat bag I'd bought earlier in the day at the store. I bought a bag of delicious, but expensive tiny cookies. I purposely invested in them because I thought I'd savor each one, treasure it, and pace myself. Whew was I wrong! Snarfing them one by one...why did I? I have no explanation except that it's become my custom to snack my way through every night.

My plan I used to do is out the window for some life reasons. But I MUST find something that works. Something that doesn't end every night in, Oh wow, why did I do that?

So I'm off. I'm off to get some things accomplished. A cleaner to-do list will go a long way to ease my feelings of failure every night (my suspected cause of ridiculous overeating).

Take care of yourselves as you'd take care of a loved one! You Matter! (and I'm trying to do the same)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
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    Love yourself! Give yourself a long, hard hug. Count at least to 30!

    You are the best!

    We have been at this a long time and it gets old. Whatever you do, just hang in there. If your life is stressful, take some more moments for yourself through the day--everyday!

    Missing you, chris
    1048 days ago
    You do matter and I’m praying for you to find the strength to remember that!

    1050 days ago
    it is so hard to take time for me .. two years in for me and i still slip off and don't. and i snack too much in the evenings when i'm not even really sure why .... i go well for a while then no.. it's a journey and a path .. it's ok to stray off for a short while but i remind myself to stick to the path.
    1050 days ago
    Yes, clean up and tighten up that "to do" list. You are so talented, so capable, so determined that you should NEVER end a day feeling like a failure. Even when you stumble (from sheer exhaustion, likely!), you did not fail.
    1051 days ago
    Grab hold of those "I Matter" principles and don't let go! We can't keep short-changing ourselves and get away with it.
    1051 days ago
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    1051 days ago
    I have tried doing the vegetarian lifestyle in the past but it was an epic fail for me. I love veggies and fruits and don't mind a little beans so I thought that would make it easier for me to do it. But am not into soy and don't tolerate grains. I try to eat an occasional vegetarian meal but I'm starving in an hour and a half no matter how big it is. It's not enough protein to keep my blood sugar stable. Maybe some of what you are experiencing is cravings caused by blood sugar instability. Things like cookies are major triggers for me. I hope you can find some answers. Hugs.
    1052 days ago
  • AK1980
    It's hard when food runs our lives! Take each small victory and move on.
    1052 days ago
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    1052 days ago
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