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Weight is Just a Number

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

All my life I've battled my weight. I obsessed over it as only someone who has fought the battle will understand. I became aware of not "being the right size" when I was very young, because my grandmother obsessed over it, and over my weight (yeah, she was a real heifer sometimes!)

The scale was never my friend, because I never felt I'd be good enough no matter what number it showed me. Even when I weighed 160#, I felt like I was as big as a house. And I was told I was sooo fat. That I needed to lose weight. That I needed to not be fat. (POOF! the Fairy Godmother has made you skinny! that's how it works, right?) So... the problem was my attitude about it, and I really needed to fix that first. Took me a lot of years to figure that one out!!

I'm not sure when exactly I started to care less about a number on that scale. Probably around the same time I was trying to learn how to actually love myself for who I am, not for what I look like!! (imagine that!) It's kind of like life, you can't just focus on one thing, or you miss the bigger picture! There is so much more that makes us who we are, than what stupid number is on a scale!!

So yeah, I've lost weight. And that's cool. Jeez, I was 270# when I finally decided to change my entire life instead of just that number. I needed to lose some weight at that point. But you know what? I don't care about that so much as I care about the fact that I can run up and down stairs and not have a heart attack (yes, I actually had one at 41. So that's not an exaggeration). That I can chase after my kid and not be miserably out of breath when I do it. That I feel comfortable in my own skin, and THAT has nothing to do with my weight, that is the life changes I've made and from working a healthy recovery program, and learning to love me for myself!!

So that's the happy thought for the day. I love me for myself. For who I am as a person, and how I treat other people. Yeah, it is cool I've lost 50#, that's nice. But the best part of all is that I know my daughters are proud of me because of who I've become, not what I look like, and that I am taking care of me so I can be there for the youngest. (Sami still watches over me, and I know she is proud too). That I can live a healthy life and be a good person too.

So let's hear it for happy Non-Scale Victories and Scale Victories too!! WHOOP WHOOP!!

love you all, thank you for being such great supportive friends!!! Happy sparking!
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