CANDOK1260
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jokes and nature

Saturday, June 16, 2018

: A second blog assignment for this week’s A&I BSG challenge is: What (or where) is your favorite place to spend in nature and why.
I am not a outside person but there some places I like
I love Amish country Ohio because it peaceful and beautiful,





When I was younger
I love climbing at whipped ledges.



I love lake Isaac for the birds that land there



I love lake Erie because it a great place to boat or swim


jokes
Food Jokes - Stress Diet
This humorous diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
Instructions for Stress Diet
BREAKFAST:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

LUNCH:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

DINNER:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

LATE EVENING NEWS:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
RULES FOR THIS DIET:
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. (Examples: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.)
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
Remember, "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."
This is just a joke, folks!

The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He seems to be doing ok now..... I guess." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy?? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not?? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!.
...."
O.K so there are two guys who's names were, Doodah and Dumb-Dumb, and they are best friends. Dumb-Dumb stutters in every sentence he says so he just sings instead of talking. One day they go fishing together and Doodah falls in the water and drowns. So Dumb-Dumb goes to Doodah's wife and says "D-D-D-o-o-o-o" so she says sing it so he says"Somebody drown in the lake today Doodah, Doodah somebody drown in the lake today oh the Doodah day"

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