So Many Emotions About Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery! Have You Been There, Done That?
Monday, June 04, 2018
I started the program to be approved for gastric sleeve surgery almost two years ago. A number of events prevented me from completing the program...mainly ME. I can say it had something to do with getting sidetracked by life (the program coordinator left, I ended up having laproscopy surgery for a meniscus tear on my knee and found I have full bone-on-bone arthritis on that knee, moved to another place, etc. etc.) but when it comes right down to it, I got within five pounds of my goal weight and ran off the rails. I gave up.
Part of me feels I sabotaged myself by doing this--that on some level I either felt I didn't deserve it or was just scared. Scared of what? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe I was scared that the changes I will need to endure--for a lifetime, no less--would be so hard and I wondered if I could really do it. I don't exactly know why I feel such an array of emotions from excited to scared.
I mentioned the surgery to my son the other day and he was taken aback that I would have someone remove two-thirds of my stomach in order to lose weight. He said I could do it without surgery and that why would I want someone to remove a natural part of my body? I said, "Son, I'm getting older and it's harder to even move. This surgery could give me a better quality of life."
That's sort of when it hit me that I'm more doing this for health benefits than to fit into a smaller size. I've never been a vain person or a high-maintenance kind of gal. The bottom line is that this is for me. Yes, I'm a little scared. Maybe even more than a little scared. I talked to my provider about this and she said of course it is normal--it's major surgery and that she would be more concerned if I didn't have any worries.
It's a big deal. I have lost 5 of 15 pounds that I am required to lose to move forward with the program. Have any of you been through this?