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The goal... easygoing, without being a pushover

Saturday, June 02, 2018

I was going to wait to blog again until tomorrow, but... my mind is going full speed , so I need to say what is there to be said. So, I wrote one blog on the harm caused by being “nice” all the time, demonstrating a lack and trust in other people’s reactions by never challenging them. And then I wrote one on the difference between being brutally honest and speaking your truth out of love, as well as the cultural necessity of white lies (I don’t think I fully explained my theory, but in my defense, I think I wrote that one at about 1am)... in the end always being “nice” or resorting to white lies to avoid having to explain (yet again) something that is an integral part of your (my) existence is tiring (in a friend’s words “exhausting”)... the ideal would be to in a situation(s) where I can be easygoing, and yet be assertive enough not to be a pushover without having to explain myself over and over. I don’t currently have this in my life, even with friends and family. I am constantly explaining myself. But now that I think about it, I am not certain whether that is my anxiety and feelings of uncertainty about everything, or an actual need to explain... hmmm... maybe I should try an experiment and wait until they ask? It is hard to relinquish control over certain things when so many things are out of my control. But I know when I let things go and let them just be that things go easier for everyone. The photo is from my dad’s house... that’s the walk down his driveway to get the newspapers (or the mail) though the boxes aren’t visible yet in the picture... my dad is my example of being easygoing without being a pushover... now I just need to emulate him more.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My goal is also to be easygoing without being a pushover! Why should we have to explain, apologize or excuse whatever it is we are doing? emoticon
    160 days ago
    I find this very interesting That is my goal to be easygoing without being a pushover !
    161 days ago
    Apparently - according to TV, movies & books - interrogators use science as a technique. Most people, including myself, are uncomfortable with scilence, and start talking - explaining, apologizing, and babbling (me) trying to get the other person to answer.
    162 days ago
    Good blog - thanks for sharing.
    162 days ago
    Blessings on all of our efforts to stop explaining, excusing, or apologizing for the way we are! Good work!
    162 days ago
    Wait... you are offering explanations for your actions and decisions without being asked? And it makes you anxious? That sounds like a terrific insight on yourself. You owe no one an explanation for why you do things that only have an impact on you and your life. "just because" is a fine response, as is "no", or "I'd rather not get into it." It is much harder to say than to hear those words. But you really aren't letting anyone down. Consider it the verbal/emotional equivalent to when you retreat to your apartment to be alone.
    163 days ago
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