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When lies serve a purpose

Saturday, June 02, 2018

My last blog I wrote was about the negative side of being “nice”... one of the comments on that blog (and a book I was reading) got me thinking about the difference between speaking the truth with love and respect and speaking the truth with no tact or respect... being “brutally honest “. There is a very real difference between undiplomatically honest and sharing your truth with love and respect. It also brought up this idea that’s been in my head about the cultural necessity of lies. Not big, damaging lies... but little, white lies, that we use everyday to skirt the truth or hide behind. The problem with that is then they become part of being “nice” and can become a sign of distrust and a lack of faith. But a few white lies aren’t the end of the world if they diplomatically extract you from a situation or conversation. There’s no hard and fast absolute here. I don’t particularly like absolutes... they trip a person up, because there is almost always an exception to the rule! We learn to lie at very young age, in fact it’s a generally recognized stage of development in children... we just learn to be sneaky and manipulative with it as we get older. But there are times when a lie serves the purpose better than the truth.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    AS Thumper said "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all"
    165 days ago
    The little white lies aren’t the problem, since by definition, they are tactful answers to questions. The ones done are “brutally honest”, or meant to cut, are usually not helpful.
    166 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    White lies, I'd rather not.
    166 days ago
    White lies can be okay at times but you still need to be careful.
    166 days ago
    I agree w/you. sometimes the little "white lies" serve a purpose, but it's important to teach kids to not cross that fine line, as well. Difficult.
    167 days ago
  • MBPP50
    White lies can sometimes be a kindness, I agree. I just find it hard, as I have gotten older, to tell those kinds of white lies. It is easier for me to say nothing at all.
    167 days ago
  • KATIE5668
    I agree for sure. I do my best to be tactful. You know the routine..someone gats a new dress that is...well not flattering, but I try to find a good. That's a different pattern or I never saw that style before..if they like it why shouldnt I😁
    167 days ago
    I like to imagine I can keep quiet if I can't be kind otherwise. Get super frustrated with myself when I tell white lies instead of explaining *again* why cPTSD can make it really hard to connect sometimes. (Ugh. Both are exhausting.)

    Isn't it lovely when friends are easy going instead of leading investigations about stuff? Whew.
    167 days ago
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