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photo and jokes

Sunday, May 20, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
May is National Photo Month. Do you like to take photos or look at old photos? If so, what types are your favorites? What photos bring back special memories?
I like to take photo of my great nieces and nephews. Also I like taking picture of my mom. I like to look at old photos.?I like looking at pictures of
people who have past on. I especially like to look at picture of my dad who die when I was 7. I have save 1 pic of me at my highest weight. That I like
to remind me how far I have come,.

Okay your jokes

Lipstick Problem
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.
They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...
He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
The smartest guy in the world

A Pope, a boy scout, and the smartest guy in the world are on an airplane that is going down (because the pilot had a heart attack).
The boy scout says, "Well, there are only two parachutes aboard. Who is going to use them?” Since I am the smartest guy in the world I feel I need to use a parachute." So, he grabs a bag and jumps out.” Looks like there is only one left, and since I have lived a full life you can use the other parachute." said the Pope.” No. We can both live!" says the boy scout.” How?" asked the Pope.” The smartest guy in the world grabbed my backpack, not the parachute!"

Top Oxymorons
1. Legally drunk
2. Exact estimate
3. Act naturally
4. Found missing
5. Resident alien
6. Genuine imitation
7. Airline Food
8. Good grief
9. 5. Sanitary landfill
10. Alone together
11. Small crowd
12. Business ethics
13. Soft rock
14. Sweet sorrow
16. Passive aggression
17. Clearly misunderstood
18. Peace force
19. Extinct Life
20. Plastic glasses

Signs and notices
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations across the United States and rest of the world.

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
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