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jokes and things I learn from my Mother

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
What are some special memories you have of your mom or life lessons you have learned from your mom? Or what lessons or qualities have you hoped to instill in your own children?
Things I learn from my mom
1. God don't make junk - I am special and great

2. who cares what they think about you." - if people
make fun of you it there problem not your

3. You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar...
-you can accomplish more by being kind to people than by having a sour disposition."

4. Never travel without your bathing suit."

5. have dessert at every supper - something I am teaching myself is not good for me

6. keep my focus on my own goals and not compare myself to others.​

7. Be empathetic

8. Appreciate what you have now.

9. old age is not for sissy

10. to be a good catholic

11. . Never travel without a camera

12 charity begin at home

13, family is important

14. to share - with 5 brothers and 1 sister sharing was important

jokes


Things I learned from my mother


1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

12. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

14. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

15. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

16. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?"

17. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

18. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

19. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

20. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

21. My mother taught me about SHARING.
" I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!"

22. My mother taught me about FEAR.
"One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you."


Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks"
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"

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