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Tough Week

Friday, May 11, 2018

I normally try to stay upbeat. I usually am fairly cheery due to everyday exercise - it improves my mood. I am retired. I do not have a lot to stress about other than if a family member has a problem. I will then take THAT problem to be my problem. I do meditate and pray which is helpful. I have suffered from depression for most of my life. At one time, I never spoke to ANYONE about my anxiety and depression issues. I have talked with a therapist for many years. It is a wonderful thing to talk with someone and release some of the ugliness that I feel within.

This week my granddaughter missed out on a wonderful opportunity for an eighth grade trip to Chicago. The school (and other schools in our area) planned the trip with a touring company. Most of the parents spent at least $700 for the travel, hotel and food. Because there were several schools and a few locations that the children would travel, the touring company was paid thousands of dollars. They filed bankruptcy immediately. What that means is no trip for the children, no refund of money to the parents, etc. It is quite a cruel thing to do to the children.

This week I went to the gym 5 times. This is pretty normal for me. I enjoy all of the classes that I take. But I must say that I really get discouraged. Because I am 63, and have given birth which often changes the body of women, I rarely see much improvement. Yes, I probably have toned my body, which is difficult for me to see but maybe others can, but I still have such problem areas. I have lost 15 pounds on Spark People which really is not much. I have been with Spark since 2007. I am sure I should lose 15 more.

I will be taking a short trip over the weekend. I will exercise and I will watch my diet as well as I can. My hope is that my low mood will lift.

Thanks for reading....

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    catching up on my blog reading . sorry about your granddaughter and the rest of the kids and parents.. hope you enjoyed your break getting away . i need your dedication getting to the . I can talk my self out of going i did it this morning thanks for relighting my emoticon
    337 days ago
    Finally, a wk later and I've made it over *here* m'dear! Many hear and understand depression and you've got the *best* cures. More importantly, you're using them, so keep focus, but you already know that. ::hugs::

    What a SCAM to declare bankruptcy AFTER collecting the dreams of children!!!!!!! They really should be forced to make those dreams come true as an "x" amount of community service. There's GOT to be a judge that *sees* that.

    My thoughts are with these young people and their DASHED hopes of having a GREAT educational travel experience - to a GREAT city. I wonder what city officials would have to say about this matter. Maybe the kids could WRITE and share how they 'feel' about missing out.

    Who knows? Would the city step in and 'fund' this as a way to ensure there's no loss in their GREAT future becoming GREATER because students chose to work *there* instead of anywhere else? It's NOT just students missing out. There's an opportunity to expand awareness of WHAT declaring bankruptcy should NOT include. A Pay It Forward OR An Act of Kindness will ALWAYS create GREAT things.
    337 days ago
    O sweet Linda of course one cannot help but be depressed with such bad news that effects their family, like you've experienced. This too shall pass and you will soon be back to trusting the good Lord to take care of all things. All things work for our good in the long run if we will just have faith in and trust the good Lord and keep trying. No it is not easy to have our emotions stretched like yours has been with this incident. But when it comes right down to it and it has all passed, if you will look for what the Lord will have had you learn from it, you will be grateful for the blessing that came out of it. I truly believe for every trial we experience, and trust the Lord in, there is a compensatory blessing that goes along with it. Yes I just might be a Polly Anna. emoticon Love you my dear and praying for you.

    338 days ago
  • SAL1512
    So sorry to hear what that tour company did to those children!
    340 days ago
    Thanks for being so honest!! We need to be truthful with each other. Yes the touring company are scumbags, even if there's more that we don't know about the sitch. And that's being kind, since there probably isn't - they are probably just being greedy and financially inept.

    I have a close personal friend I've known for 35 years who declared bankruptcy, waited 10 years, then did it again. Not as cut and dried as I stated; no there's a lot more to the story - but the bottomline is, he did it because he could, and he never learned anything neither before, during, after, and is still living the same way now as he did before the 2 bankruptcies. Financially inept, is being euphemistic. Zero motivation to change. Some people, some companies, are simply like that. Just that way. A character defect.

    But then, I've been morbidly obese that whole time, and on SP that whole time, and I still haven't changed, either.

    We all need to clean house personally; I know I am certainly in sin, re, obesity, so that certainly applies to me. I might shake my head at my friend privately; and call the touring co scumbags and have them deserve it; but on the other hand, I have my own sin . . .

    Most parents of school age children are not financially well off, and that would hurt a lot. Plus the emotional impact on the children. I hope the adults use it to teach their children about financial responsibility. Dave Ramsey has great teaching tools for children, high school, the military, and everyone else. And I wonder if the people in charge did their due diligence on the touring company, BEFORE they signed on the dotted line for the trip & brought this "opportunity" to the parents. Learning opportunity for all of us - on many levels.

    It is a blessing to be able to say you don't have many personal problems, but I know you've had your struggles, too. I know your daughter, your shoulder, your heart, (sometimes) your husband, etc. I know that if you keep going and don't give up, you will make lasting progress, and eventually all the pieces of the puzzle will come together. I know the answer is simple, but never (or rarely) is it easy. 15lbs is not much to need to lose, unless your BMI is bad. If your BMI is good, I'd be happy. I know when I get there, within a few lbs of a good BMI, my body will probably not be looking too good - as you say, we had life going on b4 this. So, we do what we can.

    Have you ever thought about changing up your goals? Like being able to pass a fitness test, or being able to be certified at a certain level of fitness or of being a certified instructor? Even if you don't ever instruct anything; being able to pass the test, physically, would be something else. It might be life-giving for you to switch your focus from pounds & body image, to being able to pass a fitness test. We may never look like we did when we were young, without a nip and a tuck, but we can proudly mount our fitness cert on the wall! For some it would not be a positive impact at all; but for others it might be a very positive thing in their life. I believe the army & FBI have some fitness tests/certifications. I know many police & fire depts do, too. If you have access to a trainer, that would be a great place to start asking about functional life-skill fitness tests. I am wondering if focusing on achieving a healthy BMI (if you aren't already), and changing focus to achieving a total body fitness certification goal, might give you a shot in the arm. Maybe you are one of those people that it would be a positive thing in your life. If so, thought I'd mention it.

    It sounds like the therapist has been a blessing in your life. Maybe even that person, would have some ideas about certifications, if you're interested. Just a suggestion, i.e. find a different, but real and valid and certifiable way, to achieve the body goals you're after.

    341 days ago
    Hope you are feeling better. I'm sorry about the kids being treated that way! I'm writing a letter! Glad you are working out. It helps my mood to kickbox. Hope your Mother's Day is great! emoticon
    342 days ago
    I wonder if your granddaughter's folks could contact their credit card company directly to dispute and refund the charges.
    343 days ago
  • LIS193
    What an awful thing to happen to the children - so horrible :((

    I hear you about the body not "cooperating" the way it used to... I am 55 and losing weight is getting harder, the joints are more creaky and achy than ever and as for being "toned".. not going to happen anymore.

    343 days ago
    Sending you hugs, Linda. I know what you mean about the changes in the body. I'm 62 and it seems like no matter what I do, my body still looks like I'm 62 dang it!
    343 days ago
    Go to the grocery and pick up a ten pound and a five pound sack of potatoes. Fifteen pounds is more than u think!

    Some people lose weight slowly, me included, and that is okay. We still lose.

    Sorry to hear about the tour.

    343 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/12/2018 8:37:53 AM
    emoticon That is a lot of money to lose. It is such a shame.
    I hope things get better for. Don't let this be a bad start to your weekend.
    You will get there with your weight loss. emoticon
    Try drinking more water for awhile and see if that helps.
    I was stuck on a plateau for weeks but it did finally get me where I want to be.
    Praying your day goes good for you. emoticon
    343 days ago
    It amazes me how low people can stoop at others’ expense. Awful thing to happen.

    Yeah, that very slow downward trend gets discouraging at times, but it’s how it happens for most of us. Hang in there; we’re in for the long haul.
    343 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/17/2018 12:35:38 PM
    I do hope this weekend is better for you!
    343 days ago
    That is horrible about the trip. That is just a huge blow to the families losing all that money.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. Look at the bright side, you have lost and not gained. So you're on the right track with things. emoticon
    344 days ago
    That happened to our school's band with a trip to Hawaii a few years ago. Devastating to the kids and families, and the board has not approved another trip for the kids since. Not sure they ever will.
    344 days ago
    Linda I hear you ((HUGS)))

    That is just awful for all those poor children... just not fair ...

    Keep exercising and keep talking to the therapist --- both great things ...

    just sending you virtual hugs emoticon
    344 days ago
    Sorry the way your trip turned out. It's not right that families should that much money. Try to have a better weekend. emoticon
    344 days ago
    Each life is unique, but all of us share joy and struggle. I always remember what my beloved mother told the hospital social worker days before being diagnosed with dementia. In response to some standard question, my mama calmly replied, "I don't know, I've never been old before." Such wisdom, in the midst of change. Who can predict how each of us will react to life's events?

    Sad events should make you feel sad. Allow yourself to feel down in response to loss; it's a natural and necessary response. Yes, I understand your discomfort with a history of depression. But, it's natural to be upset over injustice and to grieve the effects of aging. You will go through this and you will emerge feeling better. You have the awareness and the tools. Peace be with you. Abide in faith.
    344 days ago
    I relate. I am hopeful that the distraction of the weekend will move you from the dark place. Distractions always help me when I cannot shake a down feeling. Hang in there! Have a great weekend! Hope it's a fun one! Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon emoticon
    344 days ago
    I'm so sorry your granddaughter is out the money for the trip. That would make anyone angry and is so unfair. I know the company declared bankruptcy, but when that happens I think everyone can still "stake a claim" for any money owed, and if they sell off assets, etc., they pay off claims sometimes. Maybe they won't get anything, but it's worth a try. So sad.
    I'm always impressed by how much physical activity you get! Even if you think it doesn't show, I'm sure you have built up muscle and strength, and healthy bones with your efforts. And because you aren't that heavy to begin with (at least it doesn't appear so, in your photos), I can see why it's hard to lose more weight. But you are doing great! Maybe where you are is where you are meant to be? Only you and your doctor can answer that. But try to remember and enjoy the fact that you are healthy enough to do all that activity, travel, swim, yoga, go to the gym, walk, etc. You are a busy lady!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Maybe a change of scenery is just what you need to improve your mood. It may be hard to put your granddaughter's disappointment out of your mind, but if nothing else, it is a life lesson for her (though one she shouldn't have to learn at such a young age). Maybe the family can plan a trip to Chicago with her some day, like for a 16th birthday or something like that. Have a wonderful trip!
    344 days ago
    What a terrible thing to happen to those 8th graders and their families! Just rotten.

    Awesome that you go to the gym so often! You are not alone having problem areas that just don't disappear - perhaps decrease in size with exercise and weight loss but just don't vanish. The main thing is to focus on being active.

    Sending thoughts and wishes that your low mood will uplift. We are here for you!
    344 days ago
  • MNEME2
    Sorry about what happened to your granddaughter. That is an awful thing to happen to these kids and their families. I commend you for going to the gym 5 x's a week. That's awesome! I share your feelings about the problem areas. I have some of those myself..
    344 days ago
  • KAREN608
    More people suffer from the same things than you will never know. It is one of those topics we hide and just say 'I'm fine" when asked how we are. We are many times NOT fine. I am glad you have a therapist. Many insurance companies do not allow for this. I have much more to lose and failing at it so far. But every morning I begin again.
    344 days ago
    I'm sorry that you've had such a bad week! It's understandable that the normal things won't make you feel better this week. It's like a time of mourning for your family, since there's been this huge financial loss. They didn't just cancel the trip and refund the trip, they canceled and filed bankruptcy. So your granddaughter can't get anything of a similar value, like a trip with another company, she just has to do without. And she has to come to terms with how unfair the world can be. That's not really good to put that on a kid.

    I'm sorry to hear that you haven't had much progress lately in losing weight. Maybe if you voice your concerns to your doctor, you might get some answers about why things have been so slow. Maybe they could help you get losing again. Another thing that could help is seeing a nutritionist. If you have diabetes, that should be covered under your insurance plan. Otherwise, you might want to pay for it yourself. Also, most gyms have personal trainers that you can see.

    I saw one once, though, and he was not good at it. I wanted to use one machine to show him my level of fitness, and he insisted I use another, and he acted SO SURPRISED that I could be on the machine so long and not break a sweat. I just don't sweat, no big deal. Also, he assumed that I was eating a lot of "crap" in the evenings, and that's the exact word that he used. However, no, I did not snack at all in the evenings, so I didn't know where he was coming from. It was so awful, and it was so expensive, and I didn't feel like I got anything out of it. Now, looking back, I wish I had reported him to the health club, but I didn't. I didn't want to bother. I only went back there once or twice and I quit going to that place. It was such a bad experience. I also got a really bad case of athlete's foot in their pool area or shower area. And the pool was so cold, that it turned my skin bright blue!

    But your gym is probably way better! You might ask for help learning new things. You could come in with a list of what you currently do or know how to do, and a list of things what you want to get good at, or at least try out. That could make the experience more fun and productive for you. It sounds like you're already good at a lot of things.

    If it makes you feel better, I joined SparkPeople in 2009 to lose about 11 lbs, and ended up gaining about 64 lbs added on to that! I'm not really blaming SparkPeople, though. I had experienced some tough losses, that I didn't know how to handle. My world fell apart, and I used food to comfort me. I've lost 15 of that weight, but it's been very slow for me. If I'm lucky, I can lose 1 lb in a month. But it's so hard, and it's not a given. Some months I lose as much as I gain, which sets me even. Or I might gain a lb or two. But usually I lose a lb. And that's good, I know. But I get discouraged when I read about people losing more in the same time frame. I can't count calories, because it drives me crazy. And if I do restrict my calories very much, I stop losing weight and I can't stay awake. So I have to eat more than most people on here that say they're eating 1250 or something, which to me sounds like a ridiculous number! It is possible that you may need to add some more calories into your diet, to restart the weight loss. That's what I had to do.
    344 days ago
  • LINDA7677
    Keep your chin up. I am 67 and am finding losing weight a challenge . Do you live in Ohio? Discovery Tours ranked slot of communities.
    344 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear that disappointing news about your granddaughter and the students Linda. $700 is a lot of money for most any of us to pony up with for a weekend or anytime.
    I have a few years on you ...(70)... Please don't tell a soul okay....😬....Anyway, I have gained a lot of health benefits and learn so much while being on Sparks, however, I cannot believe how difficult it became after I hit my 60s to lose even one or 2 pounds!... I am pretty toned and firm and my husband insists I am in great shape and fit but I would love to be able to knock off those extra pounds as you. but until I do I think I am just going to be happy at staying active and glad that I am in so much better shape than things could be if you know what I mean. emoticon
    344 days ago
    it can be disheartening when plans are cancelled
    also where there has been little progress
    Cheers Richard
    344 days ago
    so sorry for the way that trip turned out. That's horrible! My gosh, that's so much money for each family to loose. **SIGH**
    344 days ago
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