Greater than 350,000 SparkPoints 552,273

Depression and anxiety

Friday, May 04, 2018

I have both to start with... add in sleep deprivation and I have a recipe for ranting, griping, whining, fussing, etc... all of it based in fact, but you, my lovely sparklers, get the blogs that I type when I am so tired I am crying for no apparent reason... because you are one of the few safe spaces I have to vent. Everything in my last few blogs is accurate, just maybe a little less hysterical? Sleeping is a medical necessity for me for my physical and mental health, but I can make adult decisions such that I get that sleep (sadly, most of those solutions involve going elsewhere for a night or two). I have confirmation from the police that I can call them if the noise gets out of hand downstairs... anytime of the day. But when my mind goes to the “dark side” the anxiety takes over, and the depression kicks in. Oh, yesterday was definitely a day like that! But I still managed to get my beginning of the month running accomplished and got my blood work done. (Which ended up being another stressor actually... because the results were so abnormal on the first sample they ran that they called me to come back to get redrawn, so they could repeat the test... uh oh). So I weighed in for the 5% challenge... and I lost a bit... that’s a nice change from the slow upward trend I had been seeing on the scale. I don’t put a lot of stock in what the scale says, for me it is more about how I feel, and how my clothes fit... but I have to admit I still get a little kick when the numbers go down... lol... I got the number of a local support line... so maybe next time I will call them first... get my head turned around straight... and then write my blog... I am still pursuing options, whether that is calling the cops repeatedly... until something HAS to be done... or moving out. I scheduled a call tomorrow morning to start looking for another place. Because my health is more important than my pride.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hoping things are improving for you. Chandra, you can always rant and rave to your Spark Friends - we are here for you!
    168 days ago
    What, were you whining or ranting? I didn’t notice. You have too many legitimate things going on to worry about us. We’ve got your back. Hang in there, Chandra.

    Oh, just saw a news bit that all of Hawaii is feeling tremors from the latest volcano. I’m still hoping your non-manager has some reason to move there - because it’s a beautiful plac, right? I would NEVER wish harm to her (fingers crossed)
    170 days ago
    Oh, my sweet friend! You don't ever have to worry about whining, ranting, crying or stomping your feet here in sparkland. It's a crime what is occurring here! You have the RIGHT to a quiet and restful home. Are any of the suggestions I made last time feasible?

    I remember when our neighbors had big LOUD LATE pool parties when I was doing the Farmer's Markets with my jewelry and had to be in my spot by 8 a.m. every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

    The pool where they did cannonballs is on the same side as our master bedroom and we all know that noise carries over water so everything was magnified.

    About 11:30 p.m. as the party was getting LOUDER and I was laying in bed FUMING knowing a had to get up
    in a few hours I called the po po. They went to the house...the noise died down for a little bit then pumped back up BIG time.

    We have an alarm system with a very big LOUD alarm speaker on the back of the house....luckily right near their backyard and the big party. I triggered it...it WHOOPED and HOLLERED and let off a decimal that hurt my ears.

    Guess what....party over!

    I do feel sorry for the other neighbors in the neighborhood...but it had to be done.

    Maybe you need a MEGA airhorn....like the ones truck drivers use. emoticon
    171 days ago
    Wishing you relief from this awful stress.

    You have not posted anything at all that sounded unreasonable. It seems like you are facing unbearable stress of someone willfully stealing your sleep.

    I am here if you need help calling the police. They sound like the only other reasonable party involved, and they WANT to hear from you so they can help you.

    Blessings on your health, friend!
    171 days ago
  • MBPP50
    I know how you are feeling and I empathize with you. I hope that things get better very soon. Sending prayers and emoticon
    171 days ago
    Your health is a very high priority and it is sad you have tomove to obtain peace. Praying for you to receive peace and comfort,
    171 days ago
    Oh Chandra my heart bleeds for you moving is a pain in the patootie particularly when you are not feeling great. Cuddle with Cooper blog and tell us what is going on do all you can to make you feel better.Know you have so many of us thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome. Sending big hugs from Lacey & I
    171 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.