I’m just going to give it a shot.
Monday, April 30, 2018
I wrote a big blog after my race on April 22nd, but it would not post and I lost it. So here I am a week later and I have entered a half marathon for next Sunday. It feels crazy. I have nasty voices in my head that say, “who do you think you are?”and “you’ve always been the worst at athletics of anyone.” “You’re going to look stupid.” “That race is for real runners.”
The maximum time allowed is 4 hours for 22 km or 13 miles. My normal times will be close to that, but I have never gone more that 12 km at once. I know very little about how to approach it, but you gotta start somewhere. I’m thinking back to the time when I first ran 5 km and how amazed I was that I really could do it. I was capable after all. Now, after that last race, I just wanted to do something, to keep going. There are many things I am concerned about. I am not sure if I can make it in the time alotted. I am thinking of keeping track of my own time so that if I reach the end point after everything and everyone has packed up and gone home, I will still know how long it took me. I’m a night shift worker and a night owl. I’m scared of having to be at a start line at 7 am. I wonder if I should just stay up all night. BUT, here is the truth: this body has carried me and served me well for 52 years. The race will likely be a lot more fun than lying on the couch with my iPad. Taking this risk may be scary, but it’s ultimately serves me way better than missing the opportunity.