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jokes and way to be more positive

Sunday, April 29, 2018

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
This month’s focus was all about positivity. List ways you bring positivity into your life.
1. finding a positive thing that happen to me every day
2. using jokes in all my blog
3.try to focus on the positive and don’t think about negativity
4. Learn to feel your emotions and not keep them bottle up
5. keep making goal so you can feel positive when you achieve them
6. Smiling can help make you feel more positive
if you don’t feel like smiling, when you smile, you ultimately feel happier and friendlier.
jokes
Normally 'teachers jokes' mean fun at a teacher's expense, whereas these excuse notes are teacher's revenge, having a laugh at pupil's excuses, some were even written by the children themselves.
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling), collected by schools from all over the country.
• My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
• Please exkuce Pam for being absent from skool. She was sick and I had her shot.
• Dear School:
Please exscuse Cecil being absent on June 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
• Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
• Please excuse Marvin from Physical Education lessons for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
• Ray was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
• Bethan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
• Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
• Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels.
• Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs.
• Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
• Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
• Please excuse Eddie for being. It was his father's fault.
• I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
• Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
• Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
• My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
• Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
• Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• Mary-ann was absent October 8-11, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

• Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
Footnote 1
We have to assume that these school excuse notes were written by the parents. Because when I was teaching, such notes would often be a give-away that they had been written by the pupils.

If your date ever uses any of these lines, you know its game over.
1. I have to floss my cat.
2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.
3. I want to spend more time with my blender.
4. The President said he might drop in.
5. The man on television told me to say tuned.
6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8. It's my parakeet's bowling night.
9. It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10. I'm building a pig from a kit.

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