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Beck Day 4 Give yourself credit part 1

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Beck Day 4 Give yourself credit

This is a hard one for me. This is going to take more than one day. I am hard on myself. Any slip triggers self criticisms like weak, hopeless and failure.

Beck suggest I create a Good Behavior Jar any put money into it to be used for future rewards. My problem; I’m not materialistic. I grew up very poor and learn early on to be content with whatever I had. I don’t crave or collect things. My family know how hard it is to buy me a gift. I used to love books but now I read virtually.

I am a very positive person toward others but I treat myself rather harshly. Beck says it’s important to learn to give myself credit for everything I do right. There is the sticking point. I know the journey takes lots of HARD work like planning, tracking, resisting temptation, countering sabotaging thoughts, consistency and getting in those fitness minutes. I’ve never seen the work as something I should be rewarded for. Emotionally, the work is like brushing your teeth or putting your clothes away. These are things we do because we are supposed to do them.

Telling myself Good Job for reading my ARCs or eating sitting down seems like an undeserved pat on the back.

Beck says that by continuously giving myself these pats on the back, I’ll reinforce my self-confidence and build an awareness that I am strong and in control.

Unplanned eating gives rise to negative thoughts like feeling helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed.

She says that when I give myself credit every time I do something right, I can more easily see slips as momentary mistakes.

So the HOW to recover from a slip is by giving myself credit for every thing I do right. I’m just not sure how to do that just yet. More tomorrow.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CAROLYNINJOY1
    Great blog. You can do this.
    1200 days ago
  • SPICY23
    Have you been mind-reading? It sounds like we share so much in common, including the non-materialism, lack of enticement, eschewing of rewards for expected behavior, etc. My family has figured out that giving me plants for the yard or help with landscaping is the best gift.

    I see the sense in acknowledging all the good and right things one does in order to put the small slips into proper perspective. This can be done simply with check-lists that force one to see all the many things one did right and positively in a day (week/month) rather than focusing on the one thing that didn't get done and beating oneself up for that failure. If rewards don't work for you don't stress about it, but do find a way to applaud your good behaviors and choices. Any friend would tell you that you are a good person deserving of respect and kindness. In fact, that is what I am trying to tell you!

    Peace and Care
    1201 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    emoticon
    I understand the struggle... I have struggled in similar ways... though at this point owning my life, good an bad seems second nature, and I definitely focus on the good... and I am GOOD.

    You are too!

    In my experience, acknowledging and reinforcing the successes does work as Beck suggests! For me, the how of it is as simple as just telling myself I've done a good job, and allowing myself to take the moment to feel the fullness of my success (I'm not highly motivated by external rewards, either). I found rewarding myself with time to myself to do what pleased me was a helpful reward (a pebble in a jar for each thing done "right" was a minute of time)... reading, doing nothing, spending time with a friend... further reinforcing treating myself well.

    You'll figure out what works for you! You've got this!
    emoticon


    1201 days ago
  • JMARIES51
    Love your blog. I used to feel exactly like you. In fact I could say you took the words right out of my past. It was really difficult for me to congratulate myself on these things that felt like they were just normal parts of life.

    However, this time around I decided to trust this process and especially the parts that I didn't particularly think were important last time. So when it came to giving myself kudos, I thought OK, I will fake it until I make it. In fact I decided to really take it almost to the absurd. I do a little happy dance, shout out loud, read my advantages list out loud -- and take each one and add on to it by thinking about how good it will feel to meet those goals.

    Actually what I am finding is that a little switch has turned on a light bulb in my head and it is like it is flashing positive, good work, way to go, happy dance, joy, peace, --- all day long. Even when I am not congratulating myself I am feeling so much more hopeful and joyful. I don't know if this happens to other people, but it is real and it feels great.

    emoticon emoticon
    1201 days ago
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