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100 days of OMAD: 21

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Yesterday was spent mostly in a sofa, discussion food and diets with my friend. It is sort of an ephiphany to me to experience the simpleness of travelling without bothering about food at all, and I wonder if I can use that thought to change my attitude to food habits. Because convenience is a big motiator to me, I love thinking "KISS" - keep it simple stupid. In axssociation with my compulsive eating I have used it to form strategies to avoid temptations and action plans for situations where I have had to expose myself to those temptations.

But the thing I enjoy most with giving up alcohol is how simple life became - I never had to make any decisions over if to drink, what to drink and how to get home if I had a drink (living in the countryside it is alwas a question of who is driving)... this was similar - no problems about when to eat or what to eat during my trip.

That said I admit that my brain ghosts started to whisper this morning - that maybe I would eat on my way home as I was such a good girl not eating on my way here.... so silly because I don´t want any food, I am not hungry (well, a minute now and then but not distrubing) and I don´t have the usual cravings from being bored. So – this is the disease talkin, it might be leptin or ghrelin or whatever but it has no bearing in reality. I told my friend about my sick thought - which made them go away.

I´m writing this sitting on the train. Not trusting myself I asked my friend to stay with me while I bought the two bottles of mineral water I wanted and I feel pretty safe now. But I have to change trains twice, there are many chances of delays and I have a lot of respect for my cunning disease, it takes every chance to persuade me.

Wish me luck!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OOLALA53
    You have chosen an eating plan that has the inevitable advantages and disadvantages of all of them in our food-rich world. It's up to you to know if the difficulties outweigh (sorry) the difficulties of being heavy. Those are going to be your major weapons. But it's almost impossible to tell in a short time. And no matter what, it's very unlikely the eating urges will ever completely disappear, no matter what individuals on the web tell you. Hedonic forces are very ingrained, even though they aren't needed much any more. Believing that you are feeding yourself adequately is crucial BEFORE you get the urges to deviate. That's a major idea that kept me going. I did not doubt that I was getting enough to eat, even more than enough sometimes, and even though my body delivered deceitful thoughts and sensations. I could not depend on not thinking them or feeling them!

    I've forgotten if you've told us, but have you ever gotten any help with developing coping skills-the thinking and behavior alternatives? Or done anything that made you tolerate discomfort for other reasons, discomfort you could have gotten away from but chose not to, and didn't necessarily have any other payoff than just knowing you could do it? (Not like a broken bone that has to heal and you can't just eliminate it or learning to do something hard at first but enjoyable soon.) I say this because I had never done anything like that before I attended a Zen center for several years, including multiple intensives of 3-5 days. I can't say it helped me feel more peaceful when I wasn't on the cushion- I wish it had!-, but it did help me tolerate a lot of discomfort, including the kind of antsy irritation that fake hunger produces. That prepped me for the "work" ahead. I'm grateful it's worked with eating. Not so much other habits. I guess I still think they're worth the pain they cause me.

    If any of this seems boringly old hat or offensive, please delete and forgive! I will understand. emoticon

    579 days ago
    I wish you all the best!
    582 days ago
  • no profile photo ELRIDDICK
    Thanks for sharing
    586 days ago
    One decision at a time
    586 days ago
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