Good morning to my friends ... old and new.. that stop by for a visit .. WELCOME !!!! You know the drill .. I supply the snacks, and you enjoy them to your hearts content .. remember .. magic home -- no fat, no carbs, and no calories .. and all of the flavor and taste you can imagine !!! I made up coffee, hot cocoa, and hot tea .. all of which can be chilled if you prefer !! :) Help yourself and welcome !! :)
I think I'm psycho ...er ... psychic .. I had an uncomfortable feeling yesterday morning, and couldn't pinpoint it .. just felt that the day was NOT going to go smooth .. and you know what ?? It DIDN'T !!!! I just felt uncomfortable in my own skin; and couldn't wait to get out to run to the car shop during lunch, didn't want to go back afterwards .. and forgot I wanted to go to my suppliment store or would have gone there as well .. I didn't want to go back .. (but this was after I knew the problems I was facing) ..
Not to mention .. it seems to be becoming a pattern .. I take off a few days and when I get back I walk into a hornets nest .. and I'm really getting tired of it ..
I walked in, and while I was gone Kim had gone nuts on the corner again .. I know I know .. it's her corner .. and I don't say much .. except when she keeps getting rid of my box .. I have a box sitting on the corner of my "table".. for the last few things that I find to take home.. Sally is pretty much out .. .. it was empty but it's the thought of it .. I actually feel like I'm being pushed out .. I keep a stiff upper lip, because I know that feeling is NOT true ..
But the peak of the morning .. Linda came back to my corner in the warehouse; and had a list of things that were "bothering her" .. some of which were miniscule .. but they still were bothering her .. things of "I asked for money to send out, and she told me that she needed the money for something else .. " .. I told Linda that I needed to show her the bank rec module, and she could see what Kim was looking at so she had feedback and suggestions .. she made mention of a few other things that were bothering her and all of a sudden just had a meltdown .. and ran away .. I called after her, I offered to take her next door and buy her a coffee and sit and talk as long as she needed .. After she ran off .. Ben looked over, and lipped .. "I'll tell you in a minute" .. because he was talking to someone else ..
After he was done he came over, and told me that her sister was seriously doing damage to the family .. Linda's boys, and husband keep telling her to back off; because she's only in for more hurt .. but Linda has a huge heart, and I'm seeing it being kicked to the curb .. I only keep her sister as a friend on FB, and watch the posts; but she has pretty much cut out her family that raised her; literally saying that they are not invited to her wedding; but her birth family is ??
I have never been in Linda's shoes to this point .. but I've been in her shoes and know the hurt it can give .. and how hard I had to work to close those relationships .. but to be stabbed in the back by your own sister .. I can't imagine .. so I'm not saying I know what she's feeling, but I can say I have an idea .. but I've learned ..people like this may think they are riding the high wave, but will come out soaked to the skin ..
I didn't get a chance to talk to her yesterday .. and while I know part of it is my fault .. I felt that Linda knows the system, and what I've done .. but I "assumed" that Linda would fall into the position .. when I told her that she would be making the decisions .. I assumed wrong ..my focus on Kim, has only put her into a position that she didn't know what was expected of her .. and Linda doesn't seem to have the confidence to step right up to the plate .. I have not pish poshed any of her decisions but there are other forces that are kicking down her confidences ...
So -- as you can see .. it was an emotional day yesterday .. and my preminitions were correct in the morning .. that unsettled feeling that I had .. well --- I believe highly in following "my gut feelings" .. I have to keep my personal feelings out of it.. The funny thing was .. Kim was pretty much right on the mark yesterday .. and took the bull by the horns .. Why can't I get both of them together .. I did mention to both of them .. I need them to talk to each other .. .. but right now .. Kim comes back and asks me questions .. questions that need a decision .. Linda comes back and asks me questions .. questions that need a decision .. I told them both .. they need to talk to each other, and come up with decisions .. and take me out of the loop .. I will tell them when I disagree with the decisions .. but only if I feel that it will create a problem in the future .. and why ..(not just gut feeling) ..
Sooo ... that was my day yesterday .. I was sooooo happy to see 5:00 come .. Actually I left at 4:50 .. I had had it for the day ..
Then I get home and hubby told me that the Turbo Tax that we installed a month ago .. isn't seeming to work ... it shuts itself down .. Really ?? NOW you figure this out !!!! ??? My NEVER ENDING procrastinator .... I just gave him the speech over the weekend .. and told him "I don't care that he doesn't mail it in until almost due time, but at least it's done, and he can just push a button, and print the stuff out .. what if something goes wrong ... I don't do well with having to think fast especially when I'm on a deadline" .Well "NOTHING is going to go wrong " .. UMMMMMMMMMM So --- we didn't worry about that last night, because my head just wasn't in it .. but guess what I get to do tonight .. OH YAY !!!! lol lol lol
Yup --- I SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED THAT GUT FEELING !!! lol lol lol lol ....
Thankfully Hubby went to see a free movie last night .. I can't remember the name, but it looked like a King Kong remake .. He said it was kind of dumb ... and unrealistic .. like alligators crawling UP a building ..Hmmmm ...but I had a quiet evening .. just to regroup myself ..
I crawled up into bed around 8:30ish .. and fell asleep (last time I looked at the clock) at 10 after hubby came home, and told me about the movie .. lol lol ..
Really strange .. After looking at the clock and putting my phone away .. I slept literally like the dead .. I think it was my best night sleep in a long time .. even with everything that went amuck yesterday .. I woke up at 4:30 this morning, and had slept good ..
I did have some bad bad dreams .. and yes I remember them .. but they were bad enough I don't want to resay them .. but other than that .. I slept really really good !!!! (without outside forces .. lol) I thought for sure my brain was going to go bazurk once I tried to lay down .. but now .. :) I'm thankful for that !!!!
I sent a text to hubby that I needed a new gas card .. Well -- hubby put it on the counter, and Uli grabbed it and when I saw the picture ..I thought OHOH .. he's discovered the upstairs ..the choices are endless up there .. but hubby said he grabbed the card and ran upstairs ..He found our bed .. and cuddled between my pillows .. Hubby said that he was actually being good .. lol lol
Well -- he was .. he was guarding something that hubby brought home .. :)
Uli was protecting my present .. I kind of expected it .. because I thought it was really sweet of hubby .. He told me that he found something, but didn't want to make me sad .. I asked him what it was, and he told me .. I explained to him .. yea .. sometimes things hit me; and I'm sad .. but that's all just the process of working through it .. All of my "memory" pictures on FB are of puppy .. and many are from her last year .. they ups and downs .. along with the "narratives" .. so I'm working through it .. and it's going to take awhile .. I don't know how something is going to hit me or not .. He said he would try and see if the pillow was still available .. and obviously .. it was !!!! :)
Tomorrow I'm going out to dinner with my friends .. and looking forward to it ...
So see .. I do have happy in my life .. some days you just have to dig a bit deeper to find it ..
Oh yea ... I restarted my food journal again, and well --- surprise surprise .. my scale went down this morning .. lol lol .. You DO think if you have to write it down .. lol .. and it was tough, but I found HAPPY so I could restart my HAPPY journal again .. lol lol lol ..
So even though most of my day was stressful .. I did end up with a good day in the end .. :) Here's to today .. I'm working on getting to the gym today to play with my Unicorns ... and thinking that might ... just might .. kill off some of the stress that I'm fighting with at the office .. (also helps me build up my daddytude which is really needed ... ) and working through MY emotions .. I know I can do it !!! I WILL DO IT !!!! :)
Hope everyone has a great Tuesday !!!!!