jokes march review and april goal
Monday, April 09, 2018
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam:
1 Eat less CRAP - did
C-CARBONATED DRINKS - with the ho;liday around I started drinking pop again
R-REFINED SUGAR - did
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR -need to work on this
P- PROCESSED FOODS - still need work
2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day did most day
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND- need more work
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS- did
D-DRINK WATER - need more work
3. focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team - did
4. focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS blc36 team did
5. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going -on my 243 day did now on my 305 days
6. gain weight I now weight 167.8
7. strength training 2x a week and one day of flexibility did
1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS -
R-REFINED SUGAR -
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR -
P- PROCESSED FOODS -
2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND-
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS-
D-DRINK WATER -
3. focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team -
4. 5. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going -on my 304 day
6. lose weight I now weight 167.0
7. strength training 2x a week and one day of flexibility and 2x cardio
Walking On Water
Bob heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, Bob and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake.
"If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.
When Bob and Brian arrived at the lake, they rented a boat and began paddling. When the got to the middle of the lake, Bob stepped off of the side of the boat... and nearly drowned. Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home. When Bob arrived back at the family farm, he asked his grandmother for an explanation.
"Grandma, why can I not walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?"
The feeble old grandmother took Bob by the hands, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January... you were born in July, dear."
What Did He Say
an elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!".
'Good bye, Mother
I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," I said to her, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother? It would make me feel so much better."
"Sure," I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it. As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"
As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $127.50.
"How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.