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Practicing denial...

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

With this latest medical issue and the first of April coming up quickly, I am practicing the fine art of denial. My ultrasound isn’t scheduled until 4pm on Friday afternoon, so I probably won’t get back the results until Monday at the earliest, and possibly not until my follow up appointment Tuesday morning at 8am... it could be something simple and easy, but it could also be serious with long term ramifications... and since I just can’t deal with those possibilities while they are still merely possibilities I plan on going with my first instinct which is to prioritize... and to deal with my family and the emotional implications of April First... before I even try and deal with vague possibilities on my medical horizon. To help facilitate this I am going to go for a long walk/run this morning. It is that cool, but eerie , chill fog out there... and I always find that intensely meditative to workout in before dawn, when the streets are deserted. I also plan on spending quality time with my dog, who is enjoying our longer walks, as the weather is slowly improving. And my best friend is coming over this afternoon... she is really the only person I have talked to in depth and in detail about this new medical issue... (it is almost like I am being superstitious and avoiding giving life to the possibility by not saying or writing the words, lol). I figure if I push myself through the weekend and into the next week I won’t have the energy to stress so much about vague possibilities.
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