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Permission to Fail

Friday, March 23, 2018

It's official. I'm in the 150's for good! For now, anyway. Hopefully sometime in May I'll be in the 140's for good! For a while. emoticon

I was discouraged for a while because it seemed like I was losing so slowly. When I looked back, it was only October 2017 when I started getting serious about cutting my fat and eating healthier. I've been losing half a pound a week, which I had deemed altogether acceptable back at the beginning. Why was I so downhearted? Some of it was reading other people's success stories of losing a pound or two each week for weeks on end. Some of it was looking longingly at that chocolate milkshake on the Five Guys menu and realizing I may never be able to slurp down another whole one all by myself again. Or maybe it was staying above 40% body fat according to my scale for months, even after adding strength training and cardio intervals to my workouts.

What changed? My attitude, I think. I'm not other people. Never have been, never will be. Why should I compare myself to them? I should be comparing myself to me. Just do your best, and pick yourself up when you fall, I ended up telling myself. Permission to fail helped. Required to keep going kept me going.

That shake I bemoaned? I realized I don't need one all to myself. I still want it at this point! But I don't need it. Maybe I'll even get to the point of being able to toss the half I don't drink. Nah! I'll take it home and put it in the freezer for another day. I know me, after all.

As for the body fat, I just got mad at it. How dare it hang around when I worked so hard to get rid of it?! So I took it out on the weights and the cardio machines and the resistance bands. (I love my weight-room-in-a-bag! Google Bodylastics.) Getting rid of that fat took more work than I had thought. I have no illusions that it will ever be easy, but at least I know it's possible to get rid of it.

I'm still less than halfway to my goal, but I'm feeling more encouraged than ever. I may have "forgotten" to take a before shot at the beginning, but I have trousers I have to pin or belt to make them stay up now. I can haul that 40 pound bag of bird seed without huffing. And I can go up and down the stairs numerous times a day without getting winded. It's not all about the scale. But it's still heartening when it moves the way I want it to!
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