COCOBEBO42
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Day One: Times Are A Changin'

Thursday, March 08, 2018

To be healthy. It is something that I have wanted for as long as I can remember. Of course, the reasons behind wanting it have changed from time to time. To be able to keep up with my friends, when I was little. To be 'hot' when I was a teenager. And, finally, as an adult, to simply live.
When I was late teens, early 20s, it was a lot easier to ignore the fact I was a big girl and very, very out of shape. I still had the energy to do all the things I wanted to do, so why did it matter if I was a few pounds over where I should be? Now, that I am about to turn 30, things aren't quite that simple anymore.
My asthma, which used to be annoying, but not scary, has gotten worse. Coupled with a steady gain of weight throughout the years, a sedentary life style and being a smoker for a little over 10 years had made my ability to breath less than satisfactory.
My energy levels are so low that I have to take a few moments to catch my breath after drying off after a shower. I've been telling myself that it isn't just because of my weight or because I don't exercise. That I have Fibro and therefore it wouldn't matter if I were healthy, that I would still have these problems.
And, finally, after being big all my life with no health complications, my cholesterol is starting to rise.
I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't keep telling myself that I just drew the short stick in genetics. Even if it is true that I did, I want to be as healthy as I can be. If my body is working against me already, I certainly don't need to help it by eating that extra piece of chocolate or sitting on my couch all day.
A little over a month ago, I smoked my last cigarette. I didn't have any real faith that I would actually quit. I can't tell you how many times over the last 10+ years that I told myself and everyone around me that I was done. No more! Only to end up smoking again in as little as four hours (yeesh)!
What made it so different this time? I honestly have no clue. The burst of willpower and motivation came from no where and my body just fell in line! I had minimum cravings and before the end of the third week I was disgusted at the smell, which, unfortunately is still clinging to the walls of my apartment.
The elation that I felt and still feel that I was able to finally stop is probably one of the best feelings I have ever had in my life. I feel empowered! Strong! Like I can finally, FINALLY start a weight lose journey that will end in not only weight lose, but a complete change in life style.
I know that I have a lot of challenges on my way. Maybe even more than what a 'normal' person would. But, I am going to do this in spite of my fibro. I am going to push through the fog and the pain and set realistic goals that I will accomplish!
2018, you are mine!
PMA!
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