VELVETALCHEMIST
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Get on your bikes and ride!

Monday, February 26, 2018

T minus 3 months 3 weeks until I need to squeeze my arse into a wedding dress. CRUNCH TIME.

No, really, crunch time. And squat time. And lift time. And so on and so forth.

Today started out in the low 20's but by the time I got home it was in the mid 50's. My poor cabin-fever riddled body starts wagging its imaginary tail and says, "HEY BRAIN! Let's go outside and jump rope!" Brain agrees, so we all go outside, put headphones in their on and upright position, and about 10 seconds in body goes, "I HAVE REGRET. SO MUCH REGRET."

Seriously, though, I remember when I was in grade school and I just baaaaaaarely missed placing in the top three at jump roping during Field Day. Why am I so terrible at it now? *lol* Oh my god, my lungs... my poor lungs. They decided they didn't agree to these shenanigans and tried to jump ship, so there I was leaning against my car, gritting my teeth, trying to talk sense into my lungs, trying to convince them this isn't THAT bad... they know I'm lying.

If you're having trouble visualizing this please turn your attention to The Awkward Yeti. It's an online comic strip that has animorphic organs that interact with each other in hilarious ways. Also, if you want a good laugh, look up any running/Blerch themed comics by The Oatmeal. :D You're welcome.

I'm sad to say I gave up jump roping after about 3 minutes of gasping, wheezing, and whapping myself in the ankles. Instead, I hauled my purple cruiser bike out of the depths of the garage and tried to reinflate the tires. No dice; the front has dry rot. *sigh* Okay, time for Plan B. My oldie but goodie, my trusty standby, my Butterscotch Monstrosity. It's a men's huffy from the 70's and it's seen better days. I used to have the women's bike but it was stolen one fateful afternoon in my early teen years when I rode into town to the drugstore to look for new nail polish and ended up running into my crush so I had that going for me... Anyway, the man's bike is way too tall but I ride it anyway, and after a few winters of being left out in the snow it's rusted all to hell, needs a new chain... heck, needs to be sandblasted down to the bare metal... but I got the tires pumped up and the wheels and chain lubed and apparently it's still got a few more years left in it yet. *lol* I only rode it around the block once because Jonathan arrived home which meant it was time to start thinking about dinner...

Aaaaaanyway... I got almost 17000 steps in on my MisFit due to today being a stock day. Almost beat my record of about 22000. Tomorrow won't be nearly as good as I'm going to be stuck at the register... I cannot wait until it's Planogram season again and I don't have to be trapped in the register bay. Cannot. Wait.
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