jokes and invention
Monday, February 12, 2018
This is my blog for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam: February 11th is National Inventor’s Day. What inventions are you grateful for...and/or what do you wish someone would invent?
I am grateful for: in no special order
The Personal Computer
things that need to be invented
a cure for Alzheimer
Moving walkways everywhere!
Escape pods for your flying car that can drop you off literally anywhere!
Instant meal machines!
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He seems to be doing ok now..... I guess." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy?? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not?? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!.
O.K so there are two guys who's names were, Doodah and Dumb-Dumb, and they are best friends. Dumb-Dumb stutters in every sentence he says so he just sings instead of talking. One day they go fishing together and Doodah falls in the water and drowns. So Dumb-Dumb goes to Doodah's wife and says "D-D-D-o-o-o-o" so she says sing it so he says"Somebody drown in the lake today Doodah, Doodah somebody drown in the lake today oh the Doodah day"
The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!
Funny Definitions To Brighten your day I hope
1. Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.
2. Consciousness - the time between naps.
3. Justice - a decision in your favor.
4. Paradox - two physicians.
5. Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.
6. A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
7. A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall and his wife answers.