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Need to find my motivation

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Not sure if this is a blog, a pep talk to myself or self reflection. Does it matter, no not really. What does matter is the essence of the written material.

On January 1, 2018 I put myself on a restart of getting healthy. It was a slow start, but it was a start. I did well for three weeks, lost 4lbs - nothing great but still I it was a loss and I was starting to feel better. I resisted the stromboli and coke my DH brought home, I drank 8 glasses of water a day and exercised regularly. Then the treadmill blew up, I got sick and lastly I had a personal upset, which culiminated in a path of self destruction. First I stopped drinking the water, next the exercise ended and then I succumbed to the muffin, coke, and candy my DH insisted on bringing into the house. What happened? I gained 2lbs back, I feel crappy and most importantly I am disappointed with my absolute lack of self discipline and determination.

My parents used to say "If Glynis says she is going to do something you can believe she will do it. When she puts her mind to it she is unstoppable." They also used to say "If you want an honest answer, ask Glynis."

That is where I am struggling, why am I not unstoppable, what is the real reason for this self sabotage? I have overcome much more adversity in my life than what just happened and it never stopped me. In fact, it made me more determined. So what has changed?

I do not believe I have changed, but I still cannot answer that question. So what do I do about it. I give myself a kick up the butt, pick myself up, dust myself down, start again and keep starting again, and again until I get there. So forget the self pity party and take this challenge by the horns and get on with it.

And get on with it I did today! I got up early, went down and used the new exercise bike that just arrived to replace the treadmill. I did 30 minutes, followed by 7 minutes of strength training my arms and ended with 10 minutes stretching. Guess what? I already feel better about myself and that is the feeling I need to keep reaching for each day. That and a glass of water every hour, every day.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just my experience but self sabotage is due to many different factors. Usually it comes from a thought process (so deep you may not be aware of it) that you are not worthy, that this won't happen for you, that you don't deserve it. I know it seems a self confident person wouldn't feel these things that's why they are buried so deeply that they come out as statements like "this is too hard, you can't do it, it's not worth the sacrifice."

    I noticed on your main page some negative self talk in your "about" area. Again, this sets you up for "I don't deserve it - not worthy" mindset.

    I think you DO deserve it! I think you CAN do it! And I also think you know that self sabotage comes from a very dark place. I've found keeping a private journal about that side of weight loss really helpful.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1023 days ago
    Me too! emoticon
    1024 days ago
    Self sabotaging is happening because you are not changing YOU. Transforming your lifestyle is much more important than counting calories and moving more. Once you figure that out, dropping weight just falls in place. It is YOU that needs to change, no drama, no gossiping, no victim mentality, make amends to people you have hurt, treat people the way you want to be treated, clean your home by de-cluttering and organizing, stick with people that are winners who are people that have what you want....it is a lot more work than "dieting..." so if you want to be one of the 5% successful people out there that can totally change their lives for the better, you must do the work.
    1027 days ago
    Writing a blog benefits the blogger more than any other person!

    Keep on keeping on!

    Make today the greatest day of your life,
    emoticon Until tomorrow!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
    emoticon Sir Winston Churchill
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1027 days ago
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