Saturday, February 10, 2018
I had a bad last half of the week.
My job was really stressing me out. I used to think I’d stay with this company for years, but now I’m to the point that, at my 1 year anniversary (If my team dynamic does not drastically improve, which I’m trying to help facilitate every day), I’m planning to start looking for another job and answering recruiters. Just making this decision makes me feel better, because I have a new goal to work towards and a light at the end of the tunnel .. until then,, I’ll keep learning and investing in my ongoing education and doing my best to get along with the toxic culture without causing a fuss or letting anyone walk all over me. Unfortunately, 2 of my bootcamp fellow graduates who also were hired at my same company saw my post about crying at work on Facebook and told me they felt the same way :( I know there are better companies out there, even if they don’t pay as well. Money isn’t worth being mistreated. I’ve been through too much abuse in my life to settle for it now.
Rant over. Ok, so let me just be honest and say I’ve slipped from my diet for emotional reasons this week. I’m not defending it... just saying that is what happened. DEEP BREATHS. It’s okay. I’m back on track today, and I’m working through the emotions without the help of junky carby food. I deserve to be treated well not only by others, but also by myself. I deserve a nice massage and a hike in nature and a big plate of steamed vegetables and a cup of beef stew. And that’s what I’m going to give myself 🍲. Luckily my fiancé and my friends are very emotionally supportive, and I am trying my best not to internalize any of this work stress into my self image, with their help.
I’m just going to keep rising and being positive, no matter what. ✌️ And, worst case scenario, I’ve still got the anxiety meds to use in emergencies.
I’m so, so ready for Spring! This snow & subarctic temperatures will be gone in a month, and maybe this work crisis will pass too. I will do my best to keep my moods up, but March can’t come soon enough.