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jokes and 1 A & I Team--Jan Results, Feb. Goals

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

jokes and 1 A & I Team--Jan Results, Feb. Goals
Jan. Goals
1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS - drinking less pop
R-REFINED SUGAR - doing ok on this
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR - doing good on this
P- PROCESSED FOODS - need to work on this

2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day need to work more on this
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND- need to work on this
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS- doing good on this
D-DRINK WATER - need to work on this
3. focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team - done this
4. focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS blc36 team -done this
5. focus on my 5% team - need to work better on this
6. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going -on my 243 day
7. lose weight I now weight 168.6 a loss
8. strength training 2x a week = did this

Feb. Goals:

1 Eat less CRAP -
C-CARBONATED DRINKS -
R-REFINED SUGAR -
A- ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS & COLOR -
P- PROCESSED FOODS -

2 EAT MORE FOOD:
F- FRUITS & VEGGIES -try to eat 3 different freggie a day
O- ORGANIC LEAN PROTEIND-
0-O- OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDIS-
D-DRINK WATER -
3. focus on my ASPIRE & INSPIRE team -
4. focus on my SPICY SPARKOLOGISTS blc36 team
5. focus on my 5% team
6. A commitment to keep my 10+ fitness minutes streak going -on my 243 day
7. lose weight I now weight 168.6 a loss
8. strength training 2x a week and one day of flexibility

Jokes
Hiring a Fitness Coach
Hiring a good fitness coach can be a challenge, but it's not hard to tell if you've hired the wrong one. Look for these signs. If any of them are true about your fitness coach, you've definitely hired the wrong one.
10. He insists a bag of Doritos is necessary for doing crunches.
9. After you explain your fitness goals, exclaims, "Oh, you meant physical fitness!"
8.Has designed a special resistance machine to train your "love muscle."
7. His business card states he works for "Belly Total Fatness," and those aren't typos.
6. He can't seem to compliment your progress without adding "...for a fat guy."
5. Occasionally says something like, "What do you say we cut this set short and you help me polish off this box of jelly-filleds?"
4. His stamina training involves you jogging to the package store and toting back a case of Bud Light.
3. Uses a McDonald's cheeseburger wrapper as a bookmark in the training manual.
2. Makes a beeping noise like a truck backing up every time you walk across the room.
And the Number 1 reason...
1. Has a workout regimen that involves you pushing him and his out-of-gas car around town so he can run errands.

Ten Excellent and Funny Thoughts About Walking
1. Walking 20 minutes can add hours to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $8000 per month.
2. My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I joined a health club last year, spent about 450 dollars. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
6. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
7. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.
9. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years....................just getting over the hill.
10. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a "Happy Hour" and by the time I leave, I think I look just fine.
You could walk this over to your friends but it's less hassle to just e-mail it to them.
Will wanted to include this last quote: I don't jog............. it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Amusing and Funny Fitness Tales and Jokes
Repartee
This story is allegedly true, and is about one of the finest athletes Michael Johnson.
Apparently the Olympic gold medal runner was on his way to a night club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said, 'Sorry, mate, you can't come in here, no denim allowed.'
Michael was quite upset at this and retorted, 'Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson.' 'Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?' concluded the bouncer with finality.
Repartee Take 2
John, a regular runner, asks his wife, Jayne, 'What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?' 'What I love most about you,' responded Jayne quickly, 'is your enormous sense of humor.'

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