jokes and Friendship Month
Friday, February 02, 2018
This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam: February is International Friendship Month - What are some of the ways you can/will celebrate your friends? What are seven characteristics of a good friend?
I usually celebrate with my friends by going out to dinner what I hope to
do soon. But we also have a night of the races coming up.
I needed to make it 11 characteristics of a Good Friend
6 . Thoughtful
7 good Listener
8 Shares your humor
9Loves you for you
10 Be loyal
11 Be open, and real.
Texas Crazy Laws
• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
• A recently passed anti crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is observed doing so by a peace officer.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
• When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
• It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
• You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
• It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
• It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.
• Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
Ohio Crazy Law
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!
Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's permission.
Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.
It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.
It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.
Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
You may not run out of gas.
Some jokes hope you like
Willpower is the ability to resist temptation until you can be sure that no-one's looking...
Who says I've got no will power - I'll get that pecan pie if it's the last thing I do.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
There's a new Chinese diet. Order all the food you want but use only one chopstick.
Dieter's Law: food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.
About the only time losing is more fun than winning...is when you're fighting temptation.
If it wasn't for wrestling with my conscience...I'd get no exercise at all.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year... spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years... just getting over the hill.