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jokes and soup

Sunday, January 28, 2018

One of our blog assignments for Week 4 of our A&I BSG challenge is: January is National Soup Month. What are your favorite soups? Share a few soup recipes.

One of my favorite soup is
Speedy Quick Matzo Ball Soup

Prep time: 20 Minutes
Cook time: 30 Minutes
Yield: 8 servings, about 2 cups each

Ingredients

1 pkg. (4.5 oz) matzo ball mix (sold in supermarkets with kosher foods)
4 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons salt
64 ounces reduced-sodium chicken or vegetable broth
3 large carrots sliced
3 stalks celery sliced
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill
1/4 teaspoon black pepper or to taste

Directions

Prepare the matzo ball mix according to the package directions. (For most packages, mix the matzo meal with 4 beaten eggs and 1/2 cup oil, stir and refrigerate for 15 minutes. Do not over-mix.)
Set a large pot of water to boil. Once it boils, add the salt to the boiling water. Using wet hands, gently form the matzo ball mixture into 1-inch balls and carefully drop them into the water. Cover the pot and cook them for 30 minutes (reduce the heat, if necessary, to keep it at a low boil).
After adding the matzo balls to the boiling water, bring the broth to a boil in a separate large pot. Add the carrots and celery and simmer them for 15 minutes. When the matzo balls are cooked, using a slotted spoon, carefully remove them from the salted water and add them to the pot with the vegetables. (At this point you can serve the soup immediately or refrigerate it for up to 3 days). Add the dill and black pepper and serve it hot, making sure to put a matzo ball and some vegetables into each bowl.


Sensational Chicken Noodle Soup
prep time 10 minutes
total time 35 minutes
serves 4 people
Ingredients
4 cups Swanson® Chicken Broth or Swanson® Certified Organic Chicken Broth or Swanson® Natural Goodness® Chicken Broth
1 medium carrot, peeled and sliced (about 1/2 cup)
1 stalk celery, sliced (about 1/2 cup)
1/2 cup uncooked extra wide egg noodles
1 cup shredded cooked chicken or turkey

Heat the broth, 1 generous dash ground black pepper, carrot and celery in a 2-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil.
Step 2
Stir the noodles and chicken in the saucepan. Reduce the heat to medium. Cook for 10 minutes or until the noodles are tender, stirring occasionally.


Chickpea, Vegetable, and Pesto Soup

Hands-On Time
15 Mins
Total Time
35 Mins
Yield
Serves 4


Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 stalks celery,
chopped 2 carrots,
sliced 1 onion,
chopped kosher salt and black pepper
2 tablespoons tomato paste
6 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
1/2 pound green beans,
halved 1 15.5-ounce can chickpeas,
rinsed 1 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup pesto

How to Make It
Step 1

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the celery, carrots, onion, ½ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon black pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 5 to 7 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste and cook until slightly darkened, 1 minute.
Step 2

Add the vegetable broth, green beans, chickpeas, and frozen peas. Simmer until the vegetables are tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Top with the pesto.

jokes
The homeless woman
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her billfold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?” “No,” I had to stop chocolate years ago, the homeless woman replied.
Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked. “No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.”
The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, And chocolate.”

A QUESTION OF BILLING
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."


Starting that diet:
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”

Quitting smoking:
I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool.”
As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?” — Judi Moore

Eating healthier:
The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. “The Lord heard you when you wailed, ‘If only we had meat to eat!’ ” she began. “Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month—until you loathe it.”
When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, “Hey, isn’t that the Atkins diet

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