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Day 55 - The notebook

Monday, January 15, 2018

I was cleaning out some items yesterday and came across one of my old notebooks. I knew that the notebook was old; I just didn't realize how old until I started reading through it. The first thing in it was my "declaration" to end an unhealthy relationship with food. That declaration even referenced my ex-husband in a positive way and I clearly remember having this notebook with me a great deal when I first started my current job (2005) so I knew then that it was an old journal. It also referenced a number of my favorite quotes like "what you plant now, you will harvest later" and "I refuse to take orders from a cookie."

As I read through this journal - I also came across the following statements:
I commit to myself on 1/22/09 to take care of myself by exercising, losing weight and taking time for myself.

Right below that is the following:
I re-commit to myself on 1/09/10 to take care of myself by exercising, losing weight and taking time for myself.

Since this notebook started, I have been divorced, experienced the weddings of 2 of my girls, watched as both granddaughters were born and married my true soul mate. I have lived a very fulfilling life - but always trying to lose weight and resolve my unhealthy relationship with food. I did meet 2 goals listed (I quit smoking & I got a promotion LOL).

Here I am in 2018 and I am again committing myself to a better way. All of those years have passed so quickly. I want to remember that this time. I don't want to be sitting here at the computer 8 or 9 years from now reading blogs and remembering the time that I committed to take better care of myself and didn't. Why do we do that? Why do we constantly give up or throw in the towel? I believe that it's because we don't choose true lifestyle changes. We don't make the decision to change something permanently.

This time - I make the decision to incorporate these changes as part of my permanent lifestyle. If I cannot see myself doing something indefinitely, then I will find another way.

Thanks for listening to me ramble :)
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