I QUIT! I'm Giving Up On My Resolution!
Thursday, January 11, 2018
It wasn't really a Spark-worthy resolution. I'm still eating healthy and exercising and following that plan, since it wasn't really a New Year's Resolution--I'm doing more or less what I've been doing since I found out I was pregnant, but maybe with more gusto.
The resolution I'm talking about is to stop swearing. I cuss SO MUCH. With a baby on the way, I figured I'd needed to clean up my mouth, and I remember when I worked on the college campus, walking in front of at least two pairs of girls with speaking habits similar to mine and thinking they sounded dumb. So, with 2018, I emptied out a Birchbox and pledged a dollar a curse word. Over ten days, I filled it up with $45, not sure what I'd do with it, even though my husband claimed it was for him (which really annoyed me. I told him it wasn't like he had a making excuses jar I was earning money in simultaneously). It was going okay. I could tell I was cursing less and less, but I wasn't that happy or pleased with myself over this success.
Yesterday, I had a hormonal meltdown in my car. I called my husband bawling. It was dumb, about something I did when I was younger that I really still regret. I cried and cried and vented and dropped a couple F bombs in the process. My husband didn't call me out on them, so I think he wouldn't have counted them, but I did in my daily tally to come home and put in my swear jar/box.
But then I realized something...saying those words FELT GOOD. I felt lighter and a bit comforted and comfortable as they were coming out of my mouth. They felt RIGHT for the situation I was describing. And I decided, I don't want to do this anymore. IT doesn't feel right. To some extent, I think this is part of who I am. I am smart, but a little salty.
I talked to my husband about it last night, and we put the swear jar money away. He said we should both cut down and not cuss in front of the baby, since we don't want him calling anyone a C-word in the grocery store, and I agree. This experience also told me that sometimes, swear words feel right for me in the right situation, but I don't have to sprinkle them everywhere. So I'm going to stop swearing so much, but really, during rush hour in Washington, all bets are off.