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I QUIT! I'm Giving Up On My Resolution!

Thursday, January 11, 2018

It wasn't really a Spark-worthy resolution. I'm still eating healthy and exercising and following that plan, since it wasn't really a New Year's Resolution--I'm doing more or less what I've been doing since I found out I was pregnant, but maybe with more gusto.

The resolution I'm talking about is to stop swearing. I cuss SO MUCH. With a baby on the way, I figured I'd needed to clean up my mouth, and I remember when I worked on the college campus, walking in front of at least two pairs of girls with speaking habits similar to mine and thinking they sounded dumb. So, with 2018, I emptied out a Birchbox and pledged a dollar a curse word. Over ten days, I filled it up with $45, not sure what I'd do with it, even though my husband claimed it was for him (which really annoyed me. I told him it wasn't like he had a making excuses jar I was earning money in simultaneously). It was going okay. I could tell I was cursing less and less, but I wasn't that happy or pleased with myself over this success.

Yesterday, I had a hormonal meltdown in my car. I called my husband bawling. It was dumb, about something I did when I was younger that I really still regret. I cried and cried and vented and dropped a couple F bombs in the process. My husband didn't call me out on them, so I think he wouldn't have counted them, but I did in my daily tally to come home and put in my swear jar/box.

But then I realized something...saying those words FELT GOOD. I felt lighter and a bit comforted and comfortable as they were coming out of my mouth. They felt RIGHT for the situation I was describing. And I decided, I don't want to do this anymore. IT doesn't feel right. To some extent, I think this is part of who I am. I am smart, but a little salty.

I talked to my husband about it last night, and we put the swear jar money away. He said we should both cut down and not cuss in front of the baby, since we don't want him calling anyone a C-word in the grocery store, and I agree. This experience also told me that sometimes, swear words feel right for me in the right situation, but I don't have to sprinkle them everywhere. So I'm going to stop swearing so much, but really, during rush hour in Washington, all bets are off.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I'm right there with ya, girl. You'd think I was in the Navy LOL. I, too, made it my resolution. I'm satisfied with having cut down even though I didn't meet my resolution. Have a great weekend! emoticon emoticon
    706 days ago
    What a great decision!

    My impression is that when people swear, they want to color their language. I didn't had this problem, but I had other challenges, when I wanted to stop doing something. I found that substitution works well for many "bad habits".

    Here's an article from Lifehacker that I came across, you might find it interesting, too.
    768 days ago
    ahahah.. this is great. When I had kids, we just kind of naturally cut those words out. Now that the kids are older, I've let a few more slide back in, but they recognize them as for what they should be.. a mark of extreme frustration or anger (hey, which happens).
    It will become natural that you watch your language around the kiddos, but around friends /adults only, let that colorful language spice it up!
    heheh.. love that you say you are a little 'salty'..

    770 days ago
    When I was a HS math teacher (emergency certified, just under 3 years) I had to completely change from swearing a lot to not at all, because I found I couldn't only swear at home (no kids)-that it would pop out at school, which totally distracted the students-anything to not focus on math! I realized that I, a person with a degree in lit, among other things, knew there was often far better, more expressive (and interesting) language, than just 4 letter words. After I quit that gig I swear occasionally, but prefer to save it for key occasions, rather than a go-to verbal pattern. Just my experience. emoticon
    775 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    emoticon emoticon
    776 days ago
  • SEAGLASS1215
    I recall when my oldest child was only 3, we were in the car (he was in his car seat in the back) and another driver cut us off causing me to jam on the brakes. From the back seat I hear "A$$H0LE!!" in this tiny but angry voice. He knew what to say and when to say it, but coming out of a 3 year old was yes, kids do hear what we say!
    776 days ago
    I have a sailor mouth as well so I totally understand! I have tried the "oh sugar" stuff instead of the real words and it never sticks!! I am sure once the baby is here you will both be more mindful! :D
    776 days ago
    BEATLETOT, you made me laugh out loud! I was expecting such a different conclusion, like "I'll have to try harder not to swear," or "I wonder why I can't break this habit," but then I reached paragraph #4 and guffawed. You are so endearingly honest! And self-aware. If swearing is important to you and it doesn't hurt anybody, then yeah, what's wrong with swearing in the privacy of your home/car/cubicle?

    AND I remember reading about a study that tested the difference in perception between those who swore when experiencing pain and those who didn't swear. I don't know the details of the study, but guess which group felt less pain? So if swearing relieves your pain and suffering, my dear, and it doesn't endanger your life in traffic or damage your baby's social skills, I say keep on swearin'!
    776 days ago
    That sounds like a perfect idea! emoticon Plus I think cussing in one's car is pretty normal, right?
    776 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    emoticon Good luck!
    777 days ago
    "This experience also told me that sometimes, swear words feel right for me in the right situation, but I don't have to sprinkle them everywhere. " I think that's a good conclusion.
    I think a lot depends on the situation. In some cases it may be 'right' so to speak, to swear. But indeed, when one does it all the time it becomes, well, er, dumb.

    I am grinning about 'smart but salty'. With salt to, you have to be careful not to sprinkle it on everything! LOL
    777 days ago
    I hear you.
    777 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/11/2018 3:27:27 PM
    Interesting - I started with a very angry, aggressive, "BLESS YOU" when cut off in traffic and have found the words now ring true. I make as many mistakes as others and offering (real) blessings works for me.
    777 days ago
    I relate! A bit salty myself. emoticon
    777 days ago
  • AKELLY45
    I'm a cusser so I can totally relate. It's surprisingly easy to not curse around children I'm sure you will be fine. And cussing is a form of stress release it does lower your blood pressure ☺
    777 days ago
    Right, definitely not in front of a child because they will repeat it at some point. Otherwise, if it releases tension and expresses how you feel, it is a lot better than a lot of other things you could do !
    777 days ago
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