Day 10 of 2018
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Today was rough. I thought I'd feel better after my SVT diagnosis but I'm still depressed about it. What are my abilities? Will I ever be able to travel without being scared? Can I go mountain climbing? Can I run a 5K? I don't know but it makes me sad thinking I can't
I have not taken a Beta Blocker yet and last night was rough. I ate some of my sister's artichoke dip and was bloated for hours. My heart skipped and pounded all night. Then my stomach was upset during the day and it still skipped so I slept for part of the day. In the afternoon I took my son's class some cupcakes for my son's 6th birthday.
I have a couple reservations on taking a beta blocker. I hear it can kill your sex drive. I just don't want that......plain and simple
Another reservation. I'm on the fence about getting pregnant again. I'm not sure I would actually try but I feel like if I take them then its like I have to close the door on it. I'm not getting any younger and I worry enough what my second pregnancy would be like when my first one was pretty rough over six years ago. I wish the cardiologist had been there to talk to me rather than them sending me the NP. Nothing against her but she didn't seem very sure of her answers.
I'm frustrated with my cardiologist options in this area. This guy was my 3rd. The first guy I saw in 2010 said I was having panic attacks but he said my condition would get worse over time. I still don't even know what it was he was referring to. He never actually gave me a diagnosis and why tell me this without offering me assurance or solutions. He made it sound dangerous which put me in panic mode.
The 2nd cardiologist was so rude to me on my first visit that I cried. He would not even let me talk. Who does that?
The 3rd guy I like but its hard to get in for a visit and I'm not happy I got the NP for my diagnosis consultation. I'm not supposed to go back for 2 months. I miss the days when I could have a doc that remembered me, cared about me and listened to me. Makes me want to go back to small town life.
My palpitations have subsided for now but they might pick back up tonight since I'm having some gas this evening from the food I ate. Tomorrow I start sucralfate for my bile disorder. I hope I get some good results from it.
I also need to go back and have my thyroid checked.
For now I will do some Leslie Sansone in my living room. I also bought a program called Body Groove on Facebook. I saw that its actually senior friendly. Hey that's my kind of workout! My 70 year old neighbor gets around better than I do. I can't workout with her. I just want some energy and stamina back.
My 2018 goal is to have more positive things to say about my health rather than negative.