Saturday, January 06, 2018
Good morning all. I hope your January has been a new adventure full of learning new ways to stay healthy and motivated.
I received a call from my Btr-in-law, Bobby. He was crying, I could barely decipher what he was saying. When he finally gained some control he told me he found a letter my sister Connie had written to him. He's not sure when it was written, but since it was in the new lift chair they just purchased back at the beginning of September I'd say it had to have been written a few months before she passed away. This is what the letter said:
Bobby, u are the best thing in my life, love you will all my heart, you never hit me or hurt me you was all I ever wanted Bob. Hope you read this, though you find it once in your life I found him. I did, I know the end is coming, take care of dogs, don't forget family in Ohio (this is my family). Take time to heal, you are the most caring man in the world, love u so much hope I'll be in your heart as u are in mine, love you forever, that's all. love and kisses Connie.
The saddest part for me about this letter is she knew she was sicker then she ever let on and did nothing about it. I told Bob before I believe she gave up after our mom died.
This has been a hard lesson for me losing her like we did. Knowing now she knew she was sick. I knew she was sick too. I begged her to go to the doctors when I was there in August, she never went. I've gone through the many stages of grief. Right now I'm stuck on being so angry. I have to find a way to deal with this. I told Bobby if there is any consolation at all for him it's the fact that she called him right before she went back into ICU and was put on a ventilator before passing and that she wrote him that letter. Obviously she wanted him to know how much she loved him. Sometimes we don't realize the depth of how much someone means to us until we can no longer see them but it should be the opposite. We should be loving them in the here and now and not have all of these after thoughts and regrets.
That's about all this morning. So sorry I poured my heart out to all of you, but for some reason I know you'll understand..