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After Thoughts

Saturday, January 06, 2018

Good morning all. I hope your January has been a new adventure full of learning new ways to stay healthy and motivated.

I received a call from my Btr-in-law, Bobby. He was crying, I could barely decipher what he was saying. When he finally gained some control he told me he found a letter my sister Connie had written to him. He's not sure when it was written, but since it was in the new lift chair they just purchased back at the beginning of September I'd say it had to have been written a few months before she passed away. This is what the letter said:

emoticon Bobby, u are the best thing in my life, love you will all my heart, you never hit me or hurt me you was all I ever wanted Bob. Hope you read this, though you find it once in your life I found him. I did, I know the end is coming, take care of dogs, don't forget family in Ohio (this is my family). Take time to heal, you are the most caring man in the world, love u so much hope I'll be in your heart as u are in mine, love you forever, that's all. love and kisses Connie.

emoticon The saddest part for me about this letter is she knew she was sicker then she ever let on and did nothing about it. I told Bob before I believe she gave up after our mom died.

This has been a hard lesson for me losing her like we did. Knowing now she knew she was sick. I knew she was sick too. I begged her to go to the doctors when I was there in August, she never went. I've gone through the many stages of grief. Right now I'm stuck on being so angry. I have to find a way to deal with this. I told Bobby if there is any consolation at all for him it's the fact that she called him right before she went back into ICU and was put on a ventilator before passing and that she wrote him that letter. Obviously she wanted him to know how much she loved him. Sometimes we don't realize the depth of how much someone means to us until we can no longer see them but it should be the opposite. We should be loving them in the here and now and not have all of these after thoughts and regrets.

That's about all this morning. So sorry I poured my heart out to all of you, but for some reason I know you'll understand..

emoticon ` Donna

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That was such a wonderful letter, not only for your BIL, but also for you!!! Take it one day at a time, my friend, and may our Lord bless you!!! I am so sorry for your loss, but I know what your are going through as I lost my mom four months ago!!! Take care!!!

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    438 days ago
    what a fantastic gift she gave him and to be able to let him know how important he was to her and that she thought about all of her family she was so thoughtful to leave it where he would find it at just the right time you had a wonderful sister
    438 days ago
    439 days ago
    439 days ago
    Donna, how endearing your sister was to leave such words of love and comfort to be found. Very sad for those left behind to wonder "what if I...," but she knew how she wanted to leave her legacy to her loved ones.
    May you and yours find the consolation and comfort which she tried to leave all of you.
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    439 days ago
    awwww, honey, many hugs. I am glad your Connie wrote that letter to Bob. She let him know just how much he was loved (and still is! She is his guardian angel, I am sure of it.)

    HUGS sweetie.
    439 days ago
    Donna, so sorry for your loss. How thoughtful of your sister for writing that letter to her husband. It is sad that she did not listen to your prodding her to seek help. Sometimes our fears block us from doing what we should do.

    Grief is so hard. It is not something we can do step by step and then say it is finished. We carry a hole in our heart for that person who touched our life. A sibling reminds us of our own mortality. Telling people how much they mean is so important. I believe others know that but it helps us. We can even do this after their passing.

    My thoughts and prayers for comfort are with you.

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    440 days ago
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