731 days away. . . . means the weight chased me down and put me in a stranglehold!
Wednesday, January 03, 2018
For several years I was pretty consistent with Sparkpeople. However, several life changes prevented any focus on me. Hubby was sick of work and needed a job change. Also spending a lot of time building a second job (artistic business with recycled bike parts) so he was in the garage a LOT. Father became ill and moved to assisted living, meaning we had to clean out and sell his house (hoarders anyone?). Kids are at an age where I have spent most of the last 2 years driving them to and fro besides a pretty heavy time commitment to some of their activities. Seriously, my schedule looks like a rainbow: tiny colored letters indicating somewhere to be, arrange, bring, take, remember, and do something with. My life is ruled by work and these tiny words that take up 2 widgets on my phone. Work has been either hectic or hell. Let's just say an "easy" day is rare.
I have felt for 2 years like I am running from pillar to post with no focus on where I am now, just what I need to do and where I need to be. Mindfulness is a buzzword, even though sporadically I would try to incorporate meditation through an app, tangles, coloring. Honestly, between driving, cleaning, 2 rounds of fad diets and hiding from the truth I find myself obese and at a high level of SCREW IT.
They say in order to take care of others, you first have to take care of yourself. Let me say my well is utterly empty. I am taking back some of my power because I gave it all away. . .to family, to work. So this weight gain is a symptom of a much larger problem. . . . lack of keeping my well full enough to be of service. So. . . . . here I am. Much humbler, much less optimistic, much more aware of what it takes to be consistent and successful.