25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 25,679

731 days away. . . . means the weight chased me down and put me in a stranglehold!

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

For several years I was pretty consistent with Sparkpeople. However, several life changes prevented any focus on me. Hubby was sick of work and needed a job change. Also spending a lot of time building a second job (artistic business with recycled bike parts) so he was in the garage a LOT. Father became ill and moved to assisted living, meaning we had to clean out and sell his house (hoarders anyone?). Kids are at an age where I have spent most of the last 2 years driving them to and fro besides a pretty heavy time commitment to some of their activities. Seriously, my schedule looks like a rainbow: tiny colored letters indicating somewhere to be, arrange, bring, take, remember, and do something with. My life is ruled by work and these tiny words that take up 2 widgets on my phone. Work has been either hectic or hell. Let's just say an "easy" day is rare.

I have felt for 2 years like I am running from pillar to post with no focus on where I am now, just what I need to do and where I need to be. Mindfulness is a buzzword, even though sporadically I would try to incorporate meditation through an app, tangles, coloring. Honestly, between driving, cleaning, 2 rounds of fad diets and hiding from the truth I find myself obese and at a high level of SCREW IT.

They say in order to take care of others, you first have to take care of yourself. Let me say my well is utterly empty. I am taking back some of my power because I gave it all away. . .to family, to work. So this weight gain is a symptom of a much larger problem. . . . lack of keeping my well full enough to be of service. So. . . . . here I am. Much humbler, much less optimistic, much more aware of what it takes to be consistent and successful.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPICY23
    Oh dear. Be kind to yourself. Start simple. Anything more will just add to your plate. Been there, done that myself. Can the wonderful young people you chauffer maybe be asked to chip in with some simple helpful tasks? You won't know until you ask. These can be pitched as vital life lessons for them, which is true. No one will stand up for you if you don't stand up for yourself. You can do it, You are worth it.

    Peace and Care
    651 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.