BILLIEK17
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I know it has been awhile....

Thursday, December 28, 2017

I haven't written anything in a long time because I keep waiting to have something positive to say. However...I do feel a bit isolated so maybe I just need to stay connected even when I am having a hard time. I hit my weight goal last April but now I'm about 12 pounds over it. I went on vacation in October and completely derailed. I am exercising 3-5 times a week but my food and alcohol consumption is way off. It's not off every day. As is always the case with me I have my good days (which are perfect) and my bad days (which are perfectly bad). For some reason that illusive moderation is staying illusive (at least for me). I also quit my job and am sort of semi retired for the moment. It's very strange to not be working after working for 30 years. I can't say I'm bored yet. The food and booze binge times are not happening during the day but in the evening still. It's an old, long standing pattern with me and I just want to feel the way I did in April....when the compulsion just wasn't as strong. Overall I feel ok most of the time but I am sort of lonely and I miss my family which has scattered across the country. My husband is wonderful and supportive but he enjoys when I indulge because he often joins me. He does not have a weight problem though and I don't want to keep growing. I also want to be good to my body and stuffing it with excess food (like 3000 calories) and alcohol (vodka, my drink of choice) is not treating it well.
Sorry to be a bit of a downer. I am not expecting any answers from anyone I just wanted to share where I am at the moment.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BEESHELL8
    I'm sorry that you've been feeling disconnected, funny, I wrote the same thing in my blog today. I hope that since I'm just reading this you are doing better. I'm doing my best to stay away from alcohol -- for me, it doesn't metabolize well anymore and I feel like crap after. take care...
    941 days ago
  • A-NEW-OLD-LAURA
    I empathize. I was where I wanted to be... until I wasn't. I was discouraged and frustrated. And boggled why I'd let myself get off kilter. Now I'm going to get myself back to where I was... and then I'm going to figure out this maintenance thing.
    945 days ago
  • HIPPICHICK1
    It's so difficult at this time of year and then it's a slippery slope once you start. All I can offer is support and a hug.
    emoticon
    949 days ago
  • KELLIEBEAN
    You are NOT a downer. You are recognizing and owning your feelings and that's always good! It helps you acknowledge what you are doing and what you need. From there you can make changes and grow.

    Wow, did I just say that?! emoticon

    It's true though. We are not Susie Sunshines all the time. I'm glad you are staying connected. I hope today is going well and you are making more healthy choices than before.

    emoticon
    949 days ago
  • TIGERSEYEHEART
    Hi Billie. I too suffer from binge eating since I was a kid. I've decided to allow myself this because I can't stop. Maybe by allowing myself I can stop? I've been working hard on changing the frantic energy of binging with yoga & meditation.
    950 days ago
  • MARTHA324
    You are not alone; we all have bad days, weeks, or months and the important thing is that you are very aware of what's going on. Give yourself credit for all the healthy things you do and have done and maybe think back to what was working for you when you worked to reach your goal.

    This is a new year and you can refocus. Please take care of yourself.
    emoticon
    950 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    You are not alone. Don't isolate yourself. We all have challenges.

    And, honestly, I think it's most important for us to remain connected ESPECIALLY when we are experiencing challenges.

    Give yourself credit for maintaining some healthy habits. emoticon

    Question for you ... what were you doing differently coming into April 2017 when the compulsion was not as strong? Return to those practices (if they are healthy and sustainable lifelong) and the compulsions will likely subside.

    Keep sharing your thoughts and experiences. Most of us blog for ourselves and end up not only supporting ourselves, but others as well. As I said earlier ... you are not alone.

    emoticon
    950 days ago
  • MOLLIEMAC
    Keep sharing your thoughts. emoticon
    950 days ago
  • KRISZTA11
    Yes, it is good for you to stay connected in difficult times,
    even more than in good times.
    emoticon

    I'm sorry about the bad days.
    You deserve credit for all the healthy habits you keep going, and for all the pounds you have kept off.
    Be kind to yourself!
    emoticon
    950 days ago
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