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jokes and decorating for Christmas

Saturday, December 16, 2017

This is our assignment for the Aspire and Inspire sparkteam: Do you like to decorate for the holidays? yes, but Jeanne dose most of the decoration ,Are you a minimalist with your decorating, if you decorate or do you go all out?
my sis go all out and I help her.What are your favorite decorations? Christmas lights. We love Christmas put out up first week of November and take them down .last week of January f you trim a tree, what is it like?
It have ornament on from every decade from the 60 and on, The most prize ornament is my father fish, He die when I was 7 but we put his ornament
up every year,

jokes
DOCTORS NOTES ON PATIENTS CHARTS
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Actual Church Bulletins

The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.
The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."
A new loud speaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

on't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
I used to have a handle on life - but mine broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Out of my mind, back in five minutes.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow disease was already taken.
The trouble with life is...there's no background music.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
My wild oats have turned to Shredded Wheat....
The meek shall inherit the earth ... after we're through with it...
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
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