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Dear Santa, It’s a long story . . ..

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Sunday, December 03, 2017

Dear Santa, It’s a long story . . ..
As you know every year I do my best to stay on your nice list and avoid the naughty list. But this year I had a few problems that I think need a little explanation. As you’ll see Santa, I’ve been a nice guy all year long.

The crack in the large vase was not my fault. Frankly Santa, Thor, the chihuahua from Canada, is responsible. Thor is a great dog, smart, easy to talk to and a great listener even though we don’t speak the same language. We’re alike in some ways. For example, we’re both hyperactive, have ears that appear too big for our small heads, and are always smiling. Once I asked him how does he stays so happy, he indicated that he wags his tail. While I don’t have a tail, wiggling my butt like he does always brings a smile to my face. You should try it yourself. But I digress. You see Santa, we were playing chase-hide and seek. While I was running down the hall to hide, Thor darted out of the room in front of me. While trying to avoid making Thor into a quesadilla, I bumped into the vase tipping it over. It was not my fault.

When Martha, my DW, came from the kitchen to investigate the commotion, Thor looked up at her with those big eyes and small head and there I stood with my oversized ears, crooked glasses, and one sock. She scooped up Thor and held him like a new born infant while she relegated me to the patio. Later, Thor looked at me through the patio door, turned his head to the side, wagged his tail and smiled. Nevertheless Santa, since Thor is only a small dog, I took the blame for cracking the vase because it was the nice thing to do!

I admit I took some of the pecan pralines Martha made for the church fundraiser. But there wasn’t anything sinful about the deed. My wife makes the “bestest” praline in Texas and Louisiana. However, she only prepares it during the holidays and special occasions like fundraisers. You see, I bought the pecans with my own money and she decided I shouldn’t have any because it was for the church. Is that fair? I believe I deserved at least one piece. So I took it,. . . because it was the equitable thing to do. Well, to be truthful, I took four pieces. Just to be on the safe side, when I attended the fundraiser, I made a generous contribution to the booth selling the sweets although I only purchase one item, . . . pralines! Wasn’t that nice of me Santa?

Finally, I need to explain why I have so many pairs of shoes, . . . yes shoes. Specifically, athletic shoes. I’m a runner and I need good shoes if I want to remain competitive. I only own seven pairs of running shoes, (not including the New Balance Fantomfit, the two pairs of Chuck Taylors, and the white Mizuno Wave Riders I use for casual ware only). I run and walk at least 40 miles a week and I need good shoes. I have some for everyday use, others for road races, and a couple for trail running. They all have a specific purpose and I must rotate them like tires. By the way Santa, I’d really like the Nike Air Zoom Flyknit Streak running shoes. It would make an excellent Christmas gift, hint- hint. They’re on sale at Academy Sports for 43% off! Don’t forget the socks!

So, you see Santa, I’ve been nice all year, irrespective of what my dear wife may say about me. I advise you not to listen to her. I don’t. Plus, she’s been giving me a piece of her mind for 36 years. She’s bound to run out soon.

From a really, really nice guy;
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