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jokes and grateful blog

Thursday, November 30, 2017

. A &i Blog This month we are focusing on gratitude since Thanksgiving (here in the U.S.) is all about being thankful - What abilities do you have or experiences have you had that you’re grateful for?
I am grateful for the following abilities
1. to love
2, to see
3. to hear'
4. to talk even thou I have a speech defect
5. to walk
6. to feel compassion
7. to care about people
I am grateful for experience of being a member of a large family.
Also grateful for the experiences I as have on sparkpeople.

jokes
Why Eve Was Created
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And the #1 reason why God created Eve...
. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

Male or Female
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE: Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
MAGIC 8 BALL: Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually
indicate it did not pay attention to your question.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.





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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • INGMARIE
    Awesome, loved the jokes. emoticon
    And the thankful list, it is a good reminder that we should be thankful for things we take for granted.
    emoticon
    Have a great weekend. emoticon
    377 days ago
  • CJWORDPLAY
    emoticon I agree with your thankful list. So important that we remember what a gift our basic abilities are to us and to those around us.

    And I thank you for the jokes. Just what I needed at the end of my day. emoticon
    377 days ago
  • CATLOVER110
    Great list of things you're grateful for! Cute jokes emoticon
    377 days ago
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