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How do you respond to expectations?

Friday, November 03, 2017

Hey there, friends!

I've been thinking about what I should share for my first post here on SparkPeople. I'm pretty new...only 11 days young! BUT I'm all in and excited to see the progress that I'm already making both in my mindsets and in my choices.

So what brought me here? One word: Expectations.

I recently had the opportunity to hear Gretchen Rubin talk about her new book The Four Tendencies and I immediately recognized myself. She says that there are 4 types of people: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. I'm only going to talk about the Obligers today, but I'd highly recommend taking her quiz to see how you respond to expectations! (Link to the quiz at the end of this post)

Obligers are people that live up to others expectations, but struggle to meet their own personal goals. We take care of everybody else first and don't leave anything left for ourselves. So whenever we feel responsible to others, we get stuff done! But things like losing weight or writing that book we've been thinking about are super difficult unless we've built in the external accountability to make it happen.

I've lost weight several times. 40 lbs and then it came back plus some...Then I lost 50 lbs and it came back...again!

Last fall, I lost 20 lbs no problem! It felt like it came off like butter and then it creeped back. You know why it was so easy last fall? I was a part of a group!! But the instant that group's 30 day challenge ended, I was done for. Now, please don't think I'm beating myself up, I'm not.

This concept is revolutionary for me! Because now I know the secret sauce that makes things work. Hearing Rubin's talk opened up a whole new window in how to get my life to the next level. I couldn't be happier to have some tools in my toolbox and a new understanding of myself.

Living up to others expectations is why I excel at Toastmasters! I love the people there and I'm thrilled to show up, speak for them, and listen to them speak. It's the same reason why I excel in my work. I love helping my colleagues and seeing our team do well.

I need to build in accountability into my life and what better place to do it then with SparkPeople? It's a whole online community of people that are going through the same thing.

There's always a new challenge. There are always people online that are cheering us on. If you find out that you're a classic Obliger like me than it's time to think about what type of accountability works best for you? I love the group aspect, but maybe you need a specific person to team up with! (And it really couldn't hurt to read that book...It's a total game changer.)

Put those thinking caps on because you can change! Work with how you're hardwired and it'll get so much easier.

Thanks for reading and stay strong!


Here's the link to that quiz I promised: https://gretchenrubin.com/2015

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I tend to keep my expectations for myself just for me. I have told people that I am trying to be healthier, but I have not given much detail. I don's say much for fear of disappointing others, I also find that people say they will be supportive but don't realize that not all of their actions are doing that. That's why I love Sparkpeople! We are all going through the same struggles and finding out which path is best for us on this journey! Having a group with common goals and ideas is invaluable! I'm glad you are here and I'm glad you are my Spark friend! We've got this!
    1283 days ago
    Thanks so much everyone for the words of encouragement! :)
    1283 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    1284 days ago
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    1284 days ago
    Great blog. Welcome to the community. You are going to do great.
    1284 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Welcome. Good luck.
    1284 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.