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jokes and Week 4 Blog for Aspire to Inspire

Monday, October 30, 2017

Now that we're in the 4th quarter of the year what have you accomplished?
1. my exercise streak I have exercise 144 days for at least 10 min a day
2. eating healthier but need to work on this
3. keeping my job for over a year
4. developing a great relationship with Natalie my great niece
What do you hope to accomplish before the end of 2017?
1. losing some weight would like to be in the 150
2. keeping my exercise streak going
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down. Husband says: Looks like he's still celebrating

A Woman's Prayer:

I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

Man in Gym
An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby

Last Rites
A man lay dying and he began to yell out, "I need a priest, I need a priest!"
Another man came along and asked what was wrong.
The dying man said, "I need a priest to give me last rites, I'm dying," the man said.
"There are no priests around here, but maybe I can help." I'm not a religious person myself, but I have lived next to the Catholic Church my whole life and I hear their ritual all the time. I think that I can say it for you."
The dying man said, "Thank You."
So the helpful man leaned close to the dying man and in a soft voice repeated the ritual as he has heard it so many times:
"B-6, N-33, G-52, I-24, ... Bingo
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