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jokes and Halloween

Monday, October 30, 2017

what I love about Halloween,
1, getting the family together to crave pumpkin
2.getting dress up in costume this year I am going to be a cow
3. dancing at the senior center Halloween party
4. the candy even so I only eat a tiny bit
5. seeing the kids dress up in costume
6, seeing people I haven't seen for awhile
What I don't like about Halloween
1. every year it get scarier
2. trick or treating door to door is becoming less and less
3. candy prices are going up
I guess I still love the old fashion Halloween

Jokes - One Liners
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Some Marriage Math(s):
1. Smart man + smart woman = romance
2. Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
3. Dumb man + smart woman = affair
4. Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
5. Smart boss + smart employee = profit
6. Smart boss + dumb employee = production
7. Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
8. Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Some Psychology
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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