Coming Out of the Fog
Thursday, October 05, 2017
Six months ago my DH passed away. While I knew he was extremely ill and wouldn't have long to live, I was shocked when it happened. I didn't recon his BEING SO GONE!!!
I look back now, and can see where I was walking and living in a kind of fog. I don't remember much at all about the first 3 months, and the last 3 are a tiny bit more clear.
For example: I have to learn how to leave my driveway and not worry about getting back rapidly. I can stay gone for as long as I want. That is very strange and new to me.
I knew how to do WE, but have to learn how to do ME.
I still don't do well with cooking food for myself. I mainly make easy to do stuff my meals. Like Raisin Bran, cut up fruits with vanilla yogurt and walnuts, and chocolaty nut filled nutrition bars.
I DO cook for Benny, though. He gets brown rice, chicken, yams, carrots and some fruit all cooked together. He loves his "LUNCH!"
So this week I have turned yet another corner. I got back with my spark team, Spirited Underdogs (the very BEST team in the universe) and have tracked for two days in a row. I did my yoga stretches, wall pushups, stair machine, walking with Benny, got some cleaning done, and I am ready for the rest of the day.
My body is reacting to the stretching and wall push ups. I am OUT OF CONDITION!!! That has to stop, and STOP NOW! It is time for me to pay attention.
Even though I was absent from my team during a lot of DH's illness, and after he passed I didn't do much with Spark. Sometimes I would read what was going on, and make a feeble attempt to participate. I was not consistent at all.
But my Sparkies never abandoned me. I would hear from them regularly, and cannot begin to tell you how good that felt. I could feel their love and support, and some days their love was all I needed to get the next thing done.
It is time for me to get out of my cave and rejoin the rest of the world.
I am starting that by being an active, daily participant of the DAWGS. That is where my strength to keep going begins.
So if you, like me, have been "kinda-sorta" with team participation, how about making an oath to change that......beginning TODAY.
As it says: There's no time like the Present. And each day is a Present. Open Carefully!!
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door!!! (Milton Berle)