This was me in 2009 when I realized I was fat.
This is me last month when I realized I forgot I was fat, and got fatter, then began to lost weight again.
Today, on this rare day that I can come and go what may, and wander here and there on the Internet in wanderlust, I decided to check out my old friends. The ones who were here when I began, and even the ones I have made since I came back two months ago.
I have nearly 500 people on my friends' list, and I am going to purge, and delete people who no longer have a "live" presence - no link to their page, lost in space.
BUT,... there are others. And it saddens me, because I am like them.
I lost a lot of weight in the beginning, before my surgeries set me on the sideline. I lost nearly 40 pounds from 2010 through spring 2011 when I first had cervical spine fusion for ruptured discs and numbness, then knee surgery that summer, followed by full on lumbar fusion that left me reeling, and gaining a good portion of that back over the next several years.
I recently (August 2, 1017) found myself at 218 lbs at 4 foot 11 inches. GULP. So I hopped back on here, and the wii fit balance board, and rack up the steps on my fitbit, and log my food, and fitness, and steps, and sleep, and water. and I have lost 10 lbs as of right now. So 10 lbs lost in two months. More to go.
Today, I looked at all the lost people, who stopped logging in, who lost, and regained, and stopped logging in, stopped posting a post, an update, a blog. Who, like me, just walked away, and picked up the nearest chocolate bar, or extra helping of lasagna, or whatever was in the cupboard. It made me sad.
Out of nearly 500 people that I friended on here, only about 61 have been active in the last 100 days. A handful have been active a few days over the 100 days. Most are gone.
The good thing is that all of the new people I added since I came back two months ago are still here and logging in, and working at it, and trying, and making it work.
And yes, it IS work. These statistics are rough. They are not perfect. But I see an awful trend, one that I woke up from because the dr. was threatening with prediabetes. and my back has acted up something awful.
Wake up friends. Keep on keeping on. Health and fitness and healthy eating is not just for the young and trim and svelte. It is for each of us.
I need you to stay on my tail. To encourage me. To tell me it's just a moment. It's ok, get back on the wagon. It's ok to grieve, we have all gone through.... whatever is grieving us at the moment... the loss of a loved one, a child, a parent, a spouse, a pet, a job, foreclosure, bankruptcy. These things are awful But remember, adding calories to your diet, eating that box of chocolates, sucking down that carbonated beverage, or bottle of wine, or beer are not going to make you feel any better, and when you are done doing those things, the calories will remain behind, on your behind, to pad you down, to weigh you down, and weigh you up and you will still find yourself lacking.
I am writing this because I want to encourage you to stick with it. Yes it is hard. Yes it will take time. Yes you will have off days, and birthdays, and death days, and depression, and great joys. Life happens. Don't let it get you down. You count. I count. One life. That's all we get. Let's take care of this great gift and treat our bodies and our lives as precious.
Getting healthy is my job, and I don't want to neglect it anymore. If I fall off and grab a piece of cake, I can get back on and keep on. It may take me a little longer, but I can do it. So can you. One day at a time, one step at a time.
You are loved, and cared for. And I prayed for each of you struggling right now today.