ADARKARA
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Oh Hai

Friday, September 22, 2017

My life is changing, and my spare time is suffering.

My week:

Sunday: Walking group, grocery shopping, cooking dinner from scratch
Monday: Heavy workout, (hopefully) blogging on www.ameasuredlife.com, making breakfasts, cooking dinner from scratch for the week
Tuesday: Plasma donation, a full day's work, cooking dinner from scratch, doing live makeup demonstrations for my side job as a Younique Presenter
Wednesday: Morning workout, a full day's work, cooking dinner from scratch, kettlebells with the girls, (hopefully blogging)
Thursday: Plasma donation, a full day's work, cooking dinner from scratch, planning my weekly menu and grocery list, doing live makeup demonstrations for my side job as a Younique Presenter
Friday: Upper body workout, a full day's work, cooking dinner from scratch, (hopefully) blogging on www.ameasuredlife.com
Saturday: 5k run, a full day's work, cooking dinner from scratch

All of this side hustle is to save money to support myself when my husband and I part ways. The waiting, as Tom Petty says, is the hardest part. I've got 6 months to live with him, and honestly some days, like yesterday, it's really, really hard. I feel lonelier when he's home than when I'm alone.

I'm so tired of carrying this relationship. He exists. He's like a ship's anchor tied around my leg, not heavy enough to stop me moving but heavy enough to slow me down. I want to fly, and I'm tethered to the ground.

Don't tell me it gets better. Don't tell me to stick it out. It's over for me. It has been for a long time. And I'll never get a chance at happiness if I don't get out of this. I'm literally selling part of my blood to get out of this. You won't change my mind. I'm just here to express why I've been so quiet.

I'm still tracking, although I've been having trouble with emotional eating. I'm working on it.

I hope you're all well and understand that I haven't left you, I'm just more of a lurker than I used to be.

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