AMETHYSTSTAR
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So Much Sadness

Saturday, July 07, 2007

This has been a very rough year for people that I love. Too many people that I consider family have suffered excruciating losses of one sort or another. These past few weeks have been the worst.

A dear faire family member in drug rehab and not allowing it to help him. Another friend has been out of work for 18 months, he has turned in 227 applications and still has not found anything, he is depressed and drawing away from his friends because of it. A friend worked with for 15 years is dying of brain tumor.

Yesterday I had a call that felt like someone put a fist through my stomach and there is nothing I can do. One of my best friends lost her 16 year old son Tuesday night to the riptide in Oregon. He was with friends, right in front of his house, playing in the surf as I am sure they had done so often. One moment he was there, the next dragged out to sea. They have given up the search to find him.

What do I say? What do I do? How do I help from so very far away? I feel so impotent...so angry...so ......helpless. 16 years old.....and his family left to deal with the horror. I think of my darling niece who is 18, my nephew 14...and I am so thankful they are safe and I'd give anything right now to hug them tightly and let them know how much I love them. Actually, once again I want to hug all my family and friends and let them know how much they mean to me.

So many tears, I have shed so many tears for so many of my friends in the last few weeks. I am so blessed and grateful for all the blessings I have in my life. I feel so petty worrying over what now seems like such little things in my life when those I love are dealing with life and death situations. This really makes one stop and think.

I'm sorry, I'm hoping writing it down helps...

ame
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD1823129
    Oh Ame.... it's so hard to be a bystander to pain. Especially if you are like me, and it sounds like you are. The type who just wants to take care of it all. Honestly the best thing you can do is listen. I know it makes you feel impotent, but it's such an undervalued commodity! Truly listening and commiserating, rather than blithely uttering platitudes... it's worth a thousand cliched responses. The world isn't a fair place... and it's such a hard thing to bear. All we have is the life we get though, and it sounds like you are doing the best you can to be there for those that have called on you when in need. Consider it a job well done, even though it will never feel like enough.
    4982 days ago
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