CLUMBOY
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Friday, September 01, 2017

good morning--well on his weigh in, rob was down another two pounds! very pleased for him. I am still not using the scale, but the mirror is telling me I am getting smaller, and my clothes are confirming it. interestingly, I have reached a place that I have encountered many times before--a strange anxiety that I am not loosing but gaining weight. its a weird phenomenon, in the past it has actually brought on panic episodes. for some reason my mind becomes convinced that my weight loss has reversed and it feels very real to me on some level. even though I can have concrete evidence to the contrary, the feeling is still there. we have been doing atkins for about 2 months now--and I don't know if this is something that kicks in at a certain time, or when my body reaches a certain appearance. but something triggers it. it's a set of emotions I am very familiar with, and quite proficient at cultivating. but now I have a certain distance that is letting me see the pattern and that helps me to understand I don't have to buy into it. I have never kept going past this pattern, and this time I want to work my way through it and come out the other side to see what's there. it's a way of looking at it I have never done before. I suspect that this set of emotions is so strong in me, and I practice them so much that even though the excitement of starting and working through atkins superceded them for awhile, that was only temporary because they were never gone--only buried for a time. now atkins has become more routine, so these emotions have found their way back to the surface. my plan now is to work on my anxiety hypnotherapy, and use my new one for motivation, and EXAMINE these emotions and find a way to transform them into something useful and positive. time to get my journal out--there's nothing like writing your thoughts down in longhand to help you see what's really going on.
have a great Friday!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LIVEDAILY
    My hair dresser called me skinny today!! LOL Not by a long shot, but it's been 2 months since he saw me last, and I have lost weight. It made me feel good!! Your anxiety...could be...although you want to lose weight, it's an uncharted and foreign land for you. So your mind is trying to convince you that you're not losing weight (unknown land), you're actually gaining weight (familiar territory). You just need to embrace the unknown with open arms!! Make sense?

    Today was a busy day. Went to the hair dresser and got my hair cut SHORT. This way I won't have to fuss with it too much after surgery. Surgery is the 8th. I went grocery shopping today, and got chicken breasts to saute, meatloaf mix to make 2 meat loaves, one for now, and one to cook and put in the freezer. I bought a 2 pound bag of shrimp, and a bad of dried pink beans - my absolute favorite dried bean! I already have a bag of lentil soup mix in the pantry. Got lots of good salad stuff. Yogurt, cottage cheese and unsweetened applesauce. 3 large containers of nuts: almonds, walnuts, and cashews. Stopped on the way home at an ice cream truck that Steve had pointed out to me. It sells Blue Bunny ice cream with the chocolate on the inside - he loves it and it's hard to find. I also got a Good Humor ice cream sandwich for me that I ate on the way home. SO good!! It's been years since I had one, and I really enjoyed it!! Tomorrow I'll start cleaning my bedroom to make it as clean and tidy as possible before I go in the hospital. I'll do that around the football game tomorrow!! Yay!!
    318 days ago
  • DRLMAZ
    Thanks for sharing
    319 days ago
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